Good Food ranked Melbourne’s best hot chips, and a surprise westside fish and chipper took top spot

A hot chip taste test is exactly what it sounds like. You order some chips, try a few for research purposes, then eat way more than you intended to. You get very thirsty, and you do it all over again at the next place. Good Food went through this exercise at 32 takeaway outlets around Melbourne, from gyros specialists to fish and chippers to hamburger bars to butcher shops. Our team got in the car, on the train and on trams to see what Oakleigh, Maidstone, Williamstown, Mount Waverley, St Kilda and beyond had to offer.

All the places we visited are either independent or without a national presence. (We ranked the chips of national fast-food outlets earlier in the month). Some of the places we visited were new and heralded by hype; others have been cranking out their chips to their own specs for more than 30 years.

It’s hard to fault a hot chip – fried, salty potato is undeniably delicious – but we were looking for truly excellent chips that could stand on their own without a rainbow’s worth of sauces and spices to bolster their flavour.

In Oakleigh Mall, we joined the Saturday night throngs to hit up favourites Mythos and Kalimera Souvlaki Art. We stood in line for an hour at Northern Soul in St Kilda for the chips that have set homesick British and Irish hearts on fire. We sat on the beach in Williamstown with piping-hot parcels from local fish and chippers Golden Catch and Alex’s, and we sat in our cars outside Pinewood Chicken Bar in Mount Waverley, Danny’s Burgers in Fitzroy North, and Scalable in Essendon to devour chips while they were at their peak.

At every spot, we walked through the door unannounced, paid like a regular customer, and took our chips away to taste, rate and take notes undetected.

These chips could be served in the middle of the desert and still hold up.

Quincy Malesovas on Pipis Kiosk

While there’s a vast galaxy of chips around Melbourne (let’s not even get started on country Victoria), we had to draw the line at about 30 due to deadlines and physical health constraints. There’s only so much fried potato 12 humans can eat in 10 days. But, give us a year, and we’ll be back out there again to update this list in the name of great chips.

Judging criteria

Thick, thin, hand cut, machine cut, soft, crunchy, once-fried or twice, we tried them all, capping it at around 30 venues after whittling it down from a much, much bigger list. And although some clearly stood above the rest, we rarely met a chip we didn’t like.

We considered including restaurant chips in the mix (Gimlet and Victor Churchill were early frontrunners), but we wanted to keep it street level and not have to grapple with minimum spends. And we haven’t even talked regional yet. Maybe next year.

The final rankings are according to overall taste, seasoning, texture (both inner and outer), temperature and appearance. All prices are for the smallest serve.

Our findings revealed that although great chips come in many colours and textures, there are some universals. A hot chip, fresh outta the fryer, is a good chip. Seasoning, whether it’s salt or something else, needs to go on quickly and liberally. And while the flavour of the potato and the interior texture go a long way, crunch trumped everything when it came to scoring.

Still, while we’ve calibrated this finely, seasons change, so do potatoes, oils and the mood of the fry cook, so do as we did and take this, if you will, with a liberal sprinkle of salt.

The tasting panel: Aisha Dow, Andrea McGinniss, Annabel Smith, Caroline Schelle, Emily Holgate, Emma Breheny, Gabriela Sumampow, Henrietta Cook, Quincy Malesovas, Roslyn Grundy, Tomas Telegramma.

The results, ranked in ascending order

11. The Resistance, Hawthorn, $5.50

These chips are what instant noodles are to uni students – utterly non-fancy, totally unhealthy, yet so good you keep coming back for more. The deeply bronzed potato fingers have mad crunch but, full disclosure, they have the unfair advantage of being battered. It overshadows the interior a little, but boy does it make them addictive. The seasoning zigs where others zag. It’s an excellent amalgamation of supermarket shaker spices: paprika, black pepper, salt, and an unidentified herb. I felt guilty for eating more than half of the large bowl I was sharing with my tasting mate, but some things can’t be helped. Gabriela Sumampow

412 Burwood Road, Hawthorn, theresistance.net.au

10. Edita’s, Carlton North, $5

Each evening, punters wait eagerly for the doors to reopen for dinner at this fish ‘n’ chipper run by a Tongan Samoan family. And after visiting, we can see why. The chips are golden morsels of craggy goodness, showered in powdery chicken salt. Thrice-fried, hand cut and skin on, their lack of uniformity is part of what makes them a cut above the rest. (In fact, Edita’s is one of the few places in Melbourne still cutting chips by hand). The blistered fingers of potato – sourced from Hawkes Farm on the Mornington Peninsula – give way to a molten, creamy interior. Dill-heavy tartare sauce, made in-house, cuts through each salty bite. Plus, a sizeable small serving is only $5. Eat your heart out, KFC. Emily Holgate

382 Rathdowne Street, Carlton North, instagram.com/editasmelb

9. Golden Catch, Williamstown, $7.50

A visit to this traditional fish and chip shop, tucked away in a humble shopping strip, feels like a step back in time. The usual swarm of delivery drivers at other shops is replaced by a steady stream of locals picking up bundles wrapped in white paper. Inside most parcels are steakhouse-style chips – the star. They’re delicately crisp and remarkably fluffy on the inside, with moreish seasoning to balance the natural potato flavour. With a piece of battered flake, it’s quintessential seaside fare, best enjoyed alfresco at Williamstown Beach. Many customers agree, declaring in rave reviews that these fish and chips are the best they’ve had. Aisha Dow

71 Kororoit Creek Road, Williamstown, instagram.com/golden_catch_williamstown

8. F.A.T. Fried and Tasty, Brunswick East, $5

Any place specialising in fried chicken can let the bird do the squawking. Who needs good chips when you’ve got the unrivalled shatter and crunch of a great drummie? But F.A.T raises the bar for chook shops everywhere. The secret is a restrained dusting of spices – perhaps paprika, a little onion powder, and is that celery salt? – that delivers thrills but still gives the salt and potato some airtime. Some chips are short, others long, some pointy, some uniform rectangles. It’s a textural lucky dip that never gets boring. Fried: good. Tasty: also good. Together? A powerful package. Emma Breheny

360 Lygon Street, Brunswick East, friedandtasty.com

7. Butchers Diner, city, $7.80

It’s a shame Butchers is no longer 24 hours, because these are chips I could eat any time. I’ve had them at 11am with a filter coffee and at 1am after a night out, and they were just as good both times. Thick, with a decent crunch, and always well seasoned, they’re hand-cut and served in a cardboard box from a tiny kitchen window, whether you’re dining in or taking away. They bring to mind a school canteen, if the canteen were actually good. If you want to double down on the diner vibe, get them poutine-style: blanketed in cheese and gravy. Quincy Malesovas

10 Bourke Street, Melbourne, butchersdiner.com

6. Kokoras, Yarraville, $9

Not quite shoestring, certainly not thick cut, we present to you the Goldilocks of chip cuts: the 9mm fry. These ones are frozen but the skin remains on, bestowing a rustic feel upon this humble side dish at Critics’ Pick Greek restaurant Tzaki’s new Yarraville chicken shop. Serving sizes are generous, and each chip is double-fried before being dusted with a mix of star anise, fennel, and ouzo-soaked pink peppercorns that tickle your tastebuds. Try a couple of chips dunked in house lemon-chilli sauce; alternate them with bites of a charcoal chicken-stuffed pita pocket; or make a DIY butty with flatbread and tzatziki. Bird might be the word but these guys are the unsung hero at Kokoras. EH

27 Ballarat Street, Yarraville, kokoras.com.au

5. Northern Soul Chip Shop, $8

It feels like you’re lining up at a club, but the reward isn’t a boogie, it’s a chip butty and some mushy peas. Welcome to Northern Soul, the chip shop that’s an homage to late nights, northern England’s music scene, and the stodgy food that fuels it all. The chips here taste exactly like what you get at a chipper in Ireland (or a chippie in Britain), and that’s no accident. They’ve precision-engineered every part of the process. The final product – wide, flat, and the colour of AI beach sand – sings with true potato flavour, escaping the usual obliteration by oil and seasoning. It’s more about taste than crunch, but the queues exist for a reason. EB

6 Inkerman Street, St Kilda, northernsoulchipshop.com

4. Macgregor’s Original, Abbotsford, $8.49

There’s a sign on the window at Macgregor’s claiming “best burgers, hands down”. It’s true, the burgers are excellent, but don’t let them overshadow the chips. They’re proudly cooked without seed oil, according to the shop’s Instagram, instead fried in beef tallow and finished with sea salt. The jury’s out on whether that makes them nutritionally superior, but the taste benefits are undeniable – and isn’t that a chip’s main function, anyway? The tallow lends a distinctive savouriness and an even distribution of flavour that makes up for any inconsistencies in seasoning. Each portion comes with a tangy mayo-tomato burger sauce by default but, honestly, it’s not even needed. QM

212 Nicholson Street, Abbotsford, macgregorsoriginal.com

3. Hagen’s Organics, Brunswick East, $10

These moreish cooked-to-order chips are as tanned, craggy and salty as a Mediterranean sailor, in the best possible way. The hand-cut chunkers – some, not us, might call them a wedge – are deep-fried in beef tallow for extra oomph, then generously dusted with a house blend of chicken salt and smoky paprika that clings to every curve and crevice. The large ones are a fun, fluffy time, perfect for dunking into a cup of rich house-made gravy, but it’s the crunchy, curled crispy bits that get your fingers fossicking for more. File under life-ruining: all future chip-eating experiences will literally pale into comparison. Andrea McGinniss

6 Village Avenue, Brunswick East, hagensorganics.com.au

2. Pipis Kiosk, Albert Park, $4

There’s something about eating chips fresh from the pool – or, better yet, the ocean – that makes them taste 10 times better. Pipis has the benefit of that oceanside proximity, but it’s not relying on it. These chips could be served in the middle of the desert and still hold up. They have the spirit of a classic fish and chip shop – generously seasoned, yellow-hued – but with a bit more finesse (to be expected at a kiosk with a hatted restaurant attached). A subtle briny note blurs the line between salt and sea-soaked fingers. And with minimum chips starting at $4, they’re one of the best-value options around. QM

129a Beaconsfield Parade, Albert Park, pipiskiosk.com.au

1. Alex’s Fish and Chips and Take Away Food, Altona, $8

Alex, you old charmer, slipping a bonus roast potato into my paper parcel. The shopfront in Altona’s backstreets is a charmer too, a cash-only relic complete with a mustard counter, faded burger-with-the-lot posters, and a shell-encrusted koala. Like the out-of-date calendars on the wood panelling, time has stood still here. Chips are hand-cut from sebago spuds, creating a creamy roast potato-like interior and flavour in a more snackable format. A background beefy note that suggests cooking in beef tallow adds to the roast dinner vibes. Despite recent hype, unharried staff have their system and they’re sticking to it. Respect. Annabel Smith

11 Ford Road, Altona, 03 9398 4267

Good Food reviews are booked anonymously and paid independently. A restaurant can’t pay for a review or inclusion in the Good Food Guide.