This was published 2 years ago
U-turn: How can I reverse a wave of thanks to an ungrateful driver?
I let someone reverse out of a carpark space and she gave me a “Thank you” wave. I returned with a “You’re welcome” wave, only to realise she was reaching to put on her seat belt and not thanking me at all. How could I have taken back my wave?
P.N., Forest Hill, NSW
A: Not giving a “Thank you” wave for your courteous carpark gesture is unacceptable driving behaviour – and I don’t care that this woman’s first priority was putting on her seat belt, backing safely out of the carpark and avoiding a minimum fine of $352 and the loss of three demerit points. So yes, you definitely needed to take back your “You’re welcome” wave, even though she never actually saw you do it because she was too busy putting on her seat belt and avoiding fines, demerit points, injury and potential death.
No matter: you’re doing this for no one but yourself. You could have yelled out the window, “Excuse me! I’m taking back my wave! I take it back, haha!” (the “haha” isn’t vital; it really depends on what pettiness levels you’re prepared to hit). Or you could have copied her and transformed your wave into a completely different activity: kept extending your arm to adjust your rear-view mirror or wipe down the inside windscreen or sweep back the side of your hair like jerky uncles do when they play that fake-handshake trick they think is sooooo hilarious.
And in the future, maybe you should be a bit more discerning with handing out “You’re welcome” waves. Personally, I’m not sure they’re always that necessary. It’s like sending someone a thank-you card for sending you a thank-you card; when does it stop? Over-polite, try-hard drivers can be so busy waving at everyone and everything, half the time they don’t have any hands on the steering wheel.
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Danny Katz is a columnist for The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald. He writes the Modern Guru column in the Good Weekend magazine. He is also the author of the books Spit the Dummy, Dork Geek Jew and the Little Lunch series for kids.