I am a doctor. If I see people at festival without a hat, should I say something?

I attended an outdoor music festival on a hot day. All around me, people were getting sunburnt and not wearing hats. I’m a doctor. Should I have tried to educate them about the risks? V.N., Beaconsfield, Vic

I’m assuming you’re a medical doctor? Because I’m not sure a PhD doctor would have the same authority, walking up to people at a music festival and saying, “Excuse me, I’m a doctor. Of geology. And your sunburnt shoulders resemble a volcanic basalt outcrop, probably early Cenozoic, could be late Mesozoic. Anyway, cover up and let’s roll ‘n’ rock, as we say in the biz!”

But if you tell strangers you’re a medical doctor, they’d probably listen because you know your stuff and they’re getting a free consultation without having to make an appointment or sit in a waiting room for eight-and-a-half hours on a grubby chair upholstered in decades of dried viral secretions.

Though I can also see how unsolicited medical advice could come across as intrusive and shame-inducing, no different to you going into a doughnut shop and yelling at customers, “Studies indicate a positive correlation between the dietary intake of saturated fat and colorectal cancer! Go eat at The Kimchi Emporium next door and improve your gut flora while marvelling at your firm, healthy stools!”

Still, it’s a physician’s duty to act in the best interests of people, so if you’re prepared to annoy festival-goers, then sure, tell them they should be using sunscreen and also wearing a hat and also staying hydrated and also not dressing in magenta and black because their colour palette suggests “soft autumn”. Otherwise, you could perform your duties in a less intrusive way by hovering around the most sunburnt, high-risk people and protecting them from cancer-causing UV rays using nothing but your shadow.

guru@goodweekend.com.au

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