New carry-on limits? I’ll admit I don’t play by the rules

Qantas has got it all figured out. You just have to scare the crap out of your passengers.

I flew Qantas from Sydney to Brisbane last week, and was amused to sit in the departure lounge and listen to the gate attendants explain the rules for carry-on luggage. If you have too much, the attendants said, and we catch you with it, your bags will have to be checked in – on another flight.

In other words, fess up now and get your oversized, overweight carry-on stowed in the hold. Otherwise, you will be waiting a few hours for it in Brisbane.

I can tell you how effective that threat was, because on board I found something I have never seen before: the luggage compartment above my seat was empty. Completely empty. Not a single bag. For the entire flight.

I’m sure it’s a difficult thing for airlines to both set policy and then police it when it comes to carry-on luggage. Plenty of customers want to avoid checking baggage these days, given you have to queue up in the airport to do so, then wait again at your arrival airport, and risk having all your gear lost in the process.

It makes sense to go carry-on only. And even if you don’t do that, there are certain essentials you need to have on board with you now, which quickly add up: probably a laptop, charging cables, headphones, any toiletries you might need on the flight, something to entertain you (given most domestic airlines have abdicated that responsibility), some water, an eye mask, and an emergency change of clothes.

And you’re going to do all that and stay under 7 kilograms? Good luck.

There’s some carry-on about carry-on in the news right now, because Virgin Australia, nominally Australia’s mid-tier airline, has announced changes to its carry-on luggage rules. Virgin has been allowing passengers two items of carry-on totalling 7kg (plus a “personal item” such as a laptop or purse), but will now change that to just one item of carry-on, weighing up to 8kg, plus personal item.

The airline says this new rule is to “help deliver an enhanced onboard experience” – or in other words, the overhead compartments will be less clogged, and passengers will (hopefully) have space to stow their one piece of carry-on right above them, rather than halfway down the other end of the plane.

On Australian domestic airlines at least, this puts Virgin in the middle in the carry-on generosity stakes. Jetstar allows 7kg of carry-on (one bag and one “personal item”), with the option to pay more to go up to 14kg. Qantas allows either one large bag weighing 10kg, or two smaller duffle bags or backpacks totalling 14kg, which, you would have to agree, is pretty generous (though it drops this allowance to 7kg for international flights).

The rigidity with which these airlines stick to their rules varies: some days you will find Jetstar staff weighing every bag; some days it’s a total free-for-all. I have never seen a bag weighed on Qantas, though I have heard stories of it happening to others.

None of our airlines, however, are like EasyJet or Ryanair, the very lowest of budget carriers in the UK and Europe, who actively pursue over-sized baggage charges as part of their business models. EasyJet even offers its staff cash incentives to catch passengers trying to get away with extra luggage.

Fortunately, most airlines around the world don’t work like that, because I have to admit that I don’t play by the rules, and I’ve never been caught. (I realise, of course, the foolish nature of writing a sentence like that, but here we go.)

My secret is not to go overboard, not to lug a stupid amount of stuff with me onto the plane. If I know I’m going over 7kg on a domestic flight (laptop, camera, chargers, a few changes of clothes), I make sure it all goes in a smallish bag that I can carry on my back rather than wheel along the ground, because that way it looks like you’ve got less stuff, and no one bothers to weigh it.

If I’m using a wheelie bag for longer, international journeys, I make sure I don’t have any other bags hanging off it, and just carry a small, extra bag with a laptop in it over my shoulder. Again, it looks like I’m not taking the mickey, and international airlines tend to be more relaxed, so no one pays me much attention.

I figure, too, that no one is being harmed here. I’m not taking up any more space onboard than I’m allowed, and the weight I’m taking isn’t astronomical. It’s just a little too much.

Virgin’s new rules, therefore, won’t change much for me. Though, I have to say, those threatening announcements from Qantas might just do the trick. I’ll keep it to 10kg.