Should I have corrected my son’s teacher’s spelling?

I emailed my son’s teacher at school and asked him what writing materials he needed for class. On the weekend, the teacher responded: “He’ll need basic stationary: notebooks, pens, etc.” For my son’s sake, I resisted the urge to correct the teacher’s spelling of “stationery”. Should I have?
N.M., Clontarf, NSW

On the weekend? Well, that explains it. This teacher was off-duty, which means he wasn’t obliged to spell words, do maths, know geography, carry a clipboard or be a good role model for kids. He was free to be a slothful, apathetic, illiterate, unclipboarded jackass like the rest of us.

No profession is expected to maintain its professional skills during non-working hours. A surgeon wouldn’t prepare a chicken for a Sunday roast with scalpels, forceps and a cardiopulmonary bypass machine. A tax agent doesn’t climb into bed at the end of a long, taxing day and cuddle up with a Depreciation Schedule. On my non-writing days, I can’t put a single word together: there’s nothing left in the tank. Checking out of a guesthouse recently, the owners asked me to sign their guestbook and all I could come up with was: “Thanks! It was triffic!” They read it and said, “Don’t give up your day job.”

After a tough week of educating kids, your son’s teacher was probably exhausted, possibly inebriated and, clearly, just fired off a quickie response without checking autocorrect (in which case, be thankful his email didn’t read “He’ll need basic stationary: not books, penis, etc”). You were right not to mention it: you don’t want to risk a spelling vendetta with a humiliated teacher. Your son may be tormented, every word he writes may be perused, and he may be paraded in front of the class and asked to write, “The nauseous anaesthetist succumbed to embarrassing diarrhoea” over and over until he spells it right.

guru@goodweekend.com.au

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