Sandra Bernhard is ‘super liberal’ – but can’t be friends with one group right now

Each week, Benjamin Law asks public figures to discuss the subjects we’re told to keep private by getting them to roll a die. The numbers they land on are the topics they’re given. This week, he talks to Sandra Bernhard. The American comedian, actor, singer, author and radio host, 70, best known for her roles in Roseanne and Severance, has been performing for more than five decades.

RELIGION

Tell me about Jewish life, growing up. The most important part about being  Jewish for me has always been family and tradition. My maternal grandparents came from Russia at the turn of the last century. They had a big family and all of their siblings came over, too. There were dinners and holidays together. It was just fun. I love being Jewish. Like with any religion, it’s like year after year, it unfolds – the reading of the Torah, the same holidays – full circle. There’s something very comforting about that.

For many Jews, it has been an especially difficult time lately. How has it been for  you? I’m not scared. I’m not worried about prejudice or people attacking me. I’m confident and relaxed in who I am, whether it’s my sexuality, femininity, womanhood or religion. But I don’t want people getting killed in the name of Israel.

Speaking of which, you’re a signatory of the open letter by Artists4Ceasefire. Why  was it important for you to sign it? We know what happened on October 7th: it was horrible. There’s no excuse for it … Benjamin Netanyahu dragged this thing out so he didn’t have to go to prison. It’s disgusting and unacceptable. That’s where I stand.

POLITICS

How would you describe your politics and personal values? Super liberal and humanitarian. I have the willingness to sacrifice, pay taxes and do what I have to do to contribute to the relief of people who aren’t in my position and don’t have money.

Do you feel there’s a responsibility for artists and performers to be politically outspoken – to use their platforms, essentially? Oh, definitely. I feel I must tell the truth, that I must support people and even sacrifice certain elements of myself – and my working life – using that platform to say what’s important.

How are you feeling about the state of America at the moment? Realistic. It’s likely things will change again. It’s going to take time because we’ve got to get Trump out of office and hold people accountable for all the things that they’re doing right now. It’s not pleasant while it’s happening, but that’s the way it goes.

Can you be friends with someone who doesn’t share your politics? Probably not right now, no. I’m not saying I wouldn’t be open to trying to help them see the light, but if they were Trumpers and committed to MAGA, no, I cannot be their friend.

SEX

When I say “sex”, what are the first things that come to mind for you? Fun, intimacy, glamour, escape.

I love that you said “fun”: it’s treated so seriously, right? I know! I don’t know why it’s not more fun for people. It’s a shame because it should be loose and groovy.

What kind of person were you attracted to when you were younger? Is it the same kind of person now? Oh, god, I’ve gone through so many evolutions. When I liked men, they were usually jocks and kind of WASP-y. When I  liked women, they were sort of older, intellectual and sexy. I find interesting people attractive but, of course, I like beauty, too. I’m a little bit superficial in that way, but you can’t blame me for that.

You were one of the first actors to play a recurring character who’s openly queer on American TV [in Roseanne] in the 1990s. Did it feel groundbreaking? No, it really wasn’t a big deal. We were just figuring out what to do with the character of Nancy [Bartlett Thomas] after she broke up with Arnie. We were like, “Oh, let’s just make her bisexual. She was so disgusted by being married to Arnie, now she’s with women!” It was never like, “Let’s write a gay character and really freak audiences.” It was just funny and natural and the perfect thing to do with her.

Was there a big public response to your character being bisexual? I don’t remember anything, to be honest with you. Audiences loved Roseanne and they loved the idea. I think that’s why it was so effective – because it wasn’t hitting people over the head.

Do you remember first meeting your partner, Sara Switzer? What attracted you to her? She was the entertainment editor for Harper’s Bazaar and asked me to write an article for her. We were already in a conversation, so when I happened to bump into her in my neighbourhood – she lived nearby without me knowing it  – it was like, “Oh, she’s really pretty. Oh, she’s cute. Oh, she’s sexy.”

How many years has it been now? We’ve been together for more than 26 years.

What’s the secret? It’s a lot of give and take. It’s a lot of being willing to – even when you think you’re right – just say, “OK, I hear you.” Egos really get in the way. Sometimes you just have to go, “Whatever, I’m going to let this one slide. You can have this one.”

What keeps you together? Our whole life is built around each other. She’s raised my daughter; she’s my daughter’s other mother. [Bernhard gave birth to Cicely in 1998.] We’re a family. We love almost all the same things. It’s not hard to stay together.

There’s a broader assumption that once you hit 70, sex is no longer a thing. What should I expect at 70? If you’re really in touch with yourself and sex has always been a part of your life and it feels good, you’ll always be like, “Oh god, yeah! I want to have sex.” It’s still fun.

More from Dicey Topics:
Keiynan’s triple-threat talent turned his life around. But one ‘very simple’ skill eludes him
‘I want a hairy forearm’: What this TV host looks for in a partner
Layne Beachley felt ‘no sparks’ with Kirk Pengilly. Then a restaurant owner stepped in
‘Not sexy enough’: Pia Miranda on the negative feedback young actors face

diceytopics@goodweekend.com.au

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