‘Hostile and harmful for women’: Former Shore teacher breaks silence on school culture

In late 2023, Sydney was reeling from the brutal murder of a young woman, Lilie James, by a fellow sports coach she’d been dating, Paul Thijssen, in the St Andrew’s Cathedral School gym. After he killed her, he killed himself.

From the first, evidence pointed to intimate partner homicide. An investigation confirmed it; furious at being rejected, he stalked James and meticulously planned her death, while still pretending to be her friend. Until her very last moment, she had no hint of his monstrous intent. And she wasn’t the first to have experienced Thijssen’s menacing control.

Young women saw themselves in James’ vulnerability and guilelessness. Clare Walker was among the strangers who grieved for her. They had much in common; they were both working at Sydney Anglican schools, only a few kilometres apart. Walker’s boss, Shore principal Dr John Collier, had come from St Andrew’s, and had known Thijssen.

Walker was not surprised when Collier said he would address Shore’s staff room about the murder.

But she was taken aback by what he said; that there had been no red flags, that the murder was entirely unpredictable, that Thijssen was a fantastic young man. Collier did not discuss domestic violence but rather quoted male suicide rates, and asked staff to keep an eye out for signs of suicide in the boys (Shore is a single-sex school). She says he did not refer to James by name.

Walker recalls her disbelief. “I remember looking around at other colleagues,” she tells this masthead, “[thinking], ‘did anyone else clock what I’ve heard?’ I could just feel it in my gut; something had just happened that was wrong.” She thought Collier must have known details that weren’t publicly available yet.

She emailed Collier straight away, expressing her disappointment that he had not talked about domestic violence. “This incident is all too common for women who attempt to leave or break up with intimate partners,” she wrote, “and I think is the crux of the issue that occurred. I think it’s important for the female staff in the school (and our boys) that this is at least acknowledged.”

Collier wrote back less than 20 minutes later, conceding “it’s possible” but not clear that the “incident fits this description”. Two other female staff members raised the issue too, Walker would later tell the Human Rights Commission in an official complaint, but received “equally dismissive responses”.

A week later, Collier told staff he would be writing about the “matter” in the school newsletter, the Shore Weekly Record. Walker raised her concerns about this plan with the head of the staffroom, who spoke to other teachers and learnt some felt bewildered or angry too.

The newsletter came out at midday. Collier wrote that Thijssen was, “in everybody’s estimation, an absolute delight. He appeared to be just like the best of us. He was not a monster; rather, in the last five hours of his life, he committed a monstrous act which was in complete contradiction to what everyone who knew him observed in the rest of his short life.”

Walker felt Collier’s piece absolved Thijssen of accountability, pardoned him of his violence, and misrepresented the nature of intimate partner terror; and that he was protecting Thijssen’s reputation over respecting James or prioritising concern for women’s safety.

The newsletter was leaked to the media, and public reaction was swift. Politicians condemned it; frontbench MP Tanya Plibersek said, as a mother of boys, she couldn’t think of a worse message for her sons to hear. “This violence-excusing behaviour must stop before yet another woman’s life is taken,” she said.

The situation left an anxious and distressed Walker feeling that the views of the female staff had been dismissed, and that the boys at the school – more than 1600 of them – had heard their headmaster minimise domestic violence. Her male colleagues had not said anything. She’d been told to ignore Collier, to keep quiet for the sake of her job, and that maybe Shore wasn’t the school for her. But it didn’t sit right.

“It just became really clear to me that an entire school was miseducated, and no-one seemed to care about that,” she said.

A week after the newsletter was published, Walker went on stress leave. She felt dismissed, humiliated and offended. Eventually, she resigned.

She remained frustrated with the school’s refusal to correct Collier’s views, or to acknowledge the impact of domestic violence. She felt it sent a poor message to its young male students. In November 2024, she lodged a complaint with the Human Rights Commission. “My genuine feeling about a school like that is that they will never change unless they’re forced,” she said.

In her complaint, she pointed out other incidents that she said fed a concerning culture – she described it as “hostile and harmful for women” – at the all-boys school, such as the Triwizard Shorenament, a muck-up day activity in which students were challenged to “get with an Asian chick” or “have sex with 80kg + woman”.

At conciliation in late January this year, the parties came to an agreement. Shore would not admit liability, but would publish an apology in the Shore Weekly Record. Collier would also make a “speech of acknowledgement” to the staff room, and be given “ongoing education and support by an external expert in relation to gendered violence and gender equality” [he leaves the school at the end of this year].

Walker refused to sign a non-disclosure agreement, so she could tell her story when she was ready. The experience has taken time to process, but she has decided to speak out now because Collier is due to leave Shore at the end of the year.

The apology ran on page 26 of a 30-page newsletter in March. The school and Collier deeply regretted any harm the statements caused, it said; they recognised the profound impact of gendered violence on women, and acknowledged their responsibility as educators to contribute to a culture where violence against women is condemned.

Walker says it was barely noticed. “It just felt like, OK, well, we’re just going to make this go away as quickly as we can, and hope that no one wonders about it,” she says. It has been a stressful journey, and has taken an emotional toll. But she’s glad she spoke out. “It’s never easy being the lone voice, but I’ve learnt that even one voice can start an echo. I hope mine does.”

In a statement, Shore said the apology, by the school and Collier, was delivered in person to staff, and in the school’s newsletter. “Shore has in place a significant and ongoing program of change and education to address the issues of gender equity and respect,” the statement said.

“All Shore staff have participated in education and culture programmes to address issues of gender equity, gendered violence and respectful relationships. Tailored education programs are also run for students to ensure the school is fostering a safe, respectful and inclusive environment for all.

“Shore is committed to creating and maintaining a culture where violence against women is condemned and an environment where equality and respect underpins everything the school does.”

If you or anyone you know needs support, you can contact the National Sexual Assault, Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service on 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 131 114, or Beyond Blue 1300 224 636.

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