For Shore, a woman’s safety matters less than her male killer’s reputation

Shore’s Latin motto, Vitai lampada tradunt – “they hand on the torch of life” – speaks to the passing of knowledge, values and integrity to the next generation. But not all beliefs are worthy of being passed on.

During my time at Shore, I raised the alarm about a dangerous and outdated attitude toward domestic violence held by the school’s leadership – and was shunned for it.

Speaking out came at great personal cost. I was ignored, isolated and made to feel so unsafe and unsupported that I ultimately chose to resign. It threw me into financial and psychological instability. And yet I would do it again.

The attitudes promoted by the headmaster, John Collier, and echoed by others after the murder of Lilie James are not values any community should inherit. By excusing violence, reframing it and glorifying the perpetrator, the school failed both its female staff and the young men it seeks to educate. It sent the message that misconduct carries no consequences when cloaked in power. This failure is especially damning in a country such as Australia, where one woman is killed every week due to domestic violence.

The school’s silence spoke volumes: a woman’s safety was less important than preserving a male perpetrator’s reputation.

As educators, we are entrusted with modelling the values we teach. We urge students not to be bystanders in the face of racism, bullying or injustice. Yet when authority figures remain silent, they model cowardice and complicity. Silence is not neutrality; it is permission. It allows injustice to fester.

The silence from the school’s executive, council, and most of my colleagues, who allowed this rhetoric to go unchallenged, was disturbing. This was not oversight – it was complicity. It was a textbook case of the bystander effect, where moral responsibility is abandoned in favour of collective apathy.

Those who did speak out – all women – were ignored or dismissed. Many of my male colleagues looked away, shrugged or resented being asked to take a stand. Friends became strangers.

In response to my outspokenness, I was met not with support, but with efforts to silence me: threats that I’d never work again, advice to dismiss the headmaster’s comments as outdated, and warnings that pursuing justice would be futile. These words came from people who appeared “good” but who chose safety over truth, fear over courage.

Philosopher Plato wrote “we can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” Why are so many men afraid? Often, it is fear of losing patriarchal protection and male solidarity that keeps them silent. Men who stand up for women’s rights are told to “stay in their lane”. They silence themselves to preserve a false sense of brotherhood.

But the cost of silence is far greater than the risk of speaking out. Domestic violence is a national emergency. We cannot afford inaction.

To break the bystander effect, we must build cultures rooted in active responsibility and moral courage. Schools should be leading this charge: encouraging truth-telling and protecting and supporting those who do.

Our institutions must become trauma-informed spaces that prioritise safety and empowerment for all people. This means mandatory training in trauma-informed care and a willingness to confront the systemic conditions that allow harm to persist. Crucially, we need more male leaders to step up – not as saviours, but as genuine allies. Men who walk beside women, not ahead of them, who share the burden of carrying the torch.

The true meaning of Vitai lampada tradunt lies in the courage to speak truth to power – to carry the light forward, to choose bravery over fear and to value education above reputation.

The future depends on those willing to bear this torch. But no one should have to carry it alone.

Clare Walker is a Sydney educator working in the public education system.