This was published 5 months ago
My friend blatantly copied my birthday party. Should I call her out?
Q: Last year, I threw a fabulous 40th: think curated styling, live music and a very specific cake. This weekend, I attended a friend’s 40th and found … MY party, shamelessly plagiarised. Same venue, same set-up, same bloody cake. Then I had to watch her soak up compliments from unsuspecting guests for something she’d blatantly copied. Should I call her out?
P.P., St Marys, NSW
A: All parties are plagiarised in some way or another. I mean, I’ve stolen recipes from friends’ parties, music playlists from friends’ parties, friends from friends’ parties. And surely you must have pilfered a few ideas for your 40th. The venue, for instance: you may have been to a party there before and thought it had a fun vibe, a cool aesthetic and a nice, clean bathroom floor that you admired up close while processing several Jägerbombs that wouldn’t stop exploding. Your curated styling: you may have been inspired by an online article called “Top 50 Party Trends for 2025 (#3 Will Surprise You!)” and #3 didn’t surprise you, but all the other 49 trends did. Your “very specific cake” would have come from somewhere: maybe you saw it at another party or in a magazine or on a TV baking show where it was made from 2 per cent cake, 16 per cent fondant and 82 per cent toothpicks.
But I do understand that it would be devastating if a friend shamelessly copied multiple party components: food, music, band, venue, balloons with your name on them. But what are you going to do? Make a public announcement that your friend ripped off every single aspect of your 40th, even having the gall of turning 40 themselves? Too petty. Try a classier angle: tell your friend that you’re flattered by the imitation and honoured to be worshipped as their creative party-hero. And at your next party, make them sign an intellectual property agreement at the door.
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Danny Katz is a columnist for The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald. He writes the Modern Guru column in the Good Weekend magazine. He is also the author of the books Spit the Dummy, Dork Geek Jew and the Little Lunch series for kids.