Is my kitchen rendition of Kung Fu Fighting any chop?

I’m a white, older Aussie male. One day recently, I found myself in the kitchen singing along to Carl Douglas’ Kung Fu Fighting in an African-American accent while cooking. I suddenly stopped and wondered, “Is this wrong?” Your thoughts would be appreciated.
E.C., Highton, Vic

Tricky without knowing what a white, older Aussie male singing Kung Fu Fighting in an African-American accent while cooking in a kitchen sounds like. I’m imagining a painfully mangled, generic accent borrowed from the ’70s TV show Good Times, sung in a deep, sultry, Barry White tone and accompanied by wooden-spoon percussion on the side of a wok containing overcooked chicken and a jar of Kan Tong Honey Soy Garlic Sauce.

But whatever you sounded like, I’m OK with it – as long as you sang it with respect for the artist and affection for the song. Because it’s almost impossible not to imitate our favourite singers when we sing along to their hits, whether it’s doing an African-American accent for a Stevie Wonder song or a French accent for an Edith Piaf song. Or a British accent for Pink Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall. No other accent works: try it in Mexican, you’ll pop your jaw.

Things get a little messy when you realise Carl Douglas was doing his own cultural appropriating. Here’s a Jamaican-born reggae singer, based in the UK, singing a disco track about “funky Chinamen from funky Chinatown”, complete with Bruce Lee grunts and repeated, clichéd “oriental riffs”. So you doing an accent is just one extra layer of appropriation-confusion that nobody can ever untangle. Which is why I say, go for it: sing with gusto, and maybe add some kung fu moves to your kitchen performance. Enliven that dull stir-fry with onion, carrot and broccoli, chopping them up, chopping them down, like a funky Chinaman from funky Chinatown.

guru@goodweekend.com.au

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