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Hidden agenda: Did we just ruin a dad’s fun in the park?

Danny Katz

Walking in our park, we noticed a man hiding behind a tree in a really good spot, then we saw some kids looking for him. When they glanced over at us, we pointed to his hiding spot. Did we just ruin a father’s fun? S.E., Benalla, VIC

Photo: Simon Letch

A: Sad that it’s come to this, but it’s probably always a good idea to point out a man hiding behind a tree in a park where kids are running around. You may also want to ask him for ID, cross-check if the kids know him, do a DNA swab, then get him to wait in the park for five to eight working days until the paternity results come back from the lab.

Then again, maybe it was perfectly clear that this man was a dad playing hide-and-seek. You may have noticed his trademark pulpy dad bod, his telltale dorky dad clothes, his giveaway look of serene ecstasy because he was getting a break from his kids, even if he had to do it while squatting behind a tree over a bull ant nest in a pair of loose-legged, ant-accessible dad shorts. Parenting is hard work and most parents playing hide-and-seek would prefer to stay hidden for as long as possible – ideally until dusk or their kid decides to move out of home.

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So you should never dob in a parent hiding in a game of hide-and-seek: you may have ruined his only me-time for the day and given the kids a hollow victory that could impact their long-term ability to navigate difficult challenges in life. Unless, of course, you were pretty sure that this man wasn’t a dad, in which case, you should’ve held him down with a knee on his head and called A Current Affair.

guru@goodweekend.com.au

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Danny KatzDanny Katz is a columnist for The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald. He writes the Modern Guru column in the Good Weekend magazine. He is also the author of the books Spit the Dummy, Dork Geek Jew and the Little Lunch series for kids.

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