Chill pill: Do blister pack tablets need to be popped in order?

When opening a blister pack of antihistamine pills, I’m very sequential, while my wife just pops out the pills randomly. Who’s doing it right?
S.G., Hampton, Vic

Three things I learnt after a recent attack of an extremely painful condition called pancreatitis.

One: hospital nurses are doing the toughest and most important job on earth, right up there alongside teachers, firefighters, farmers and weekend lifestyle columnists.

Two: the pancreas is not the placenta and I needed to stop getting them mixed up. I do not have a placenta. The doctors made that perfectly clear, over and over again.

Three: a sheet of pills should always be popped in an orderly, sequential way – unless you need urgent pain relief and then anything goes. You’re reaching out for pills in the middle of the night, accidentally knocking the box onto the floor, crawling around on hands and knees until you find the box, crushed completely flat, under a knee. You’re opening the flattened box by viciously smacking it against the side of the bed to gently loosen the flaps, all while weeping and retching. You’re fumbling in the dark, popping random blisters and letting knee-crushed pills scatter all over the floor, then scraping up a handful of pill powder from under the bed and washing it down with water, tears and balls of under-bed dust.

So to answer your question: the orderliness of pill removal is directly related to the urgency of pill intake. Antihistamines, antacids, throat lozenges: you have plenty of time to pop these slowly and sequentially. That way, you won’t miss any pills and you’ll know when you’re running low. But when it comes to pain-relief pills, these can be popped in a more haphazard, desperate manner, with plenty of cursing and crying, using fists, teeth, knees and the rim of a toilet bowl.

guru@goodweekend.com.au

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