Bidding against my friend at an auction – what’s the worst that could happen?

My good friend and I are both house-hunting and are looking for the same type of house in the same area. If we turn up at the same auction, is it OK to bid against each other?
P.N., Ashburton, Vic

Auctions are stressful enough when you’re not even buying a house. When you’re just standing there watching, and the price is going up in increments that are more than you earned between the ages of 0 to 35. And you’re too scared to move in case the auctioneer thinks you’re a bidder: “Was that a blink, sir? Fresh bidding on my left! One million, nine hundred and thirty thousand dollars on my left! Another blink, sir? You know you’re bidding against yourself, right?”

So if you’re at an auction to actually buy a house, that would be absolutely terrifying. And if a good friend is bidding against you, even worse: it could lead to a Catastrophe of Long-Term Resentfulness. If the friend gets the house, you’ll resent them for stealing your dream home (you’ll still pop round for visits, but you’ll always mention “a slight odour of rising damp. Can you smell it?”). If you get the house, you’ll resent your friend for driving up the price (you’ll still invite them around for dinners, but you’ll ask them to bring a plate because you can no longer afford food). And if neither of you gets the house, you’ll both resent each other for all the potential future auctions ahead and all the potential future resentment to come.

Bidding against a good friend is lose-lose, so if you both turn up at the same auction, discuss who’s prepared to bow out to save the friendship. And if no one’s prepared to bow out, then what can you do? Let the resentment unfurl. Blink hard.

guru@goodweekend.com.au

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