Jo was brutally assaulted in her 20s. Finding fishing ‘saved her life’

Women coming together – in friendship, power, trust and safety – is a preserved, ancient practice treasured in many cultures around the world. Faced with changing community structures and fewer local connections, women-centric gatherings now often start with shared interests – book clubs, running collectives, volunteering groups and circles – and bloom into communities grounded in presence and intention.

“In a women-only space, there’s a unique kind of exhale,” says Giselle Perry, founder of Sofia Women’s Circle in Sydney. “We don’t need to explain ourselves. We are simply arriving as we are and taking a conscious pause to just be – together.”

Recent studies from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare reported a link between loneliness and psychological distress; females aged 25-54 reported higher levels of loneliness than their male counterparts in 2023. There’s good news, though: loneliness among those aged 65 and over has declined since 2001.

“The belonging that’s felt in being deeply seen and heard is the antidote to the quiet isolation many women feel, especially as we move through life’s thresholds,” says Perry.

In female-only spaces, women report experiencing true safety and affirmation, learning new skills, and forming deep connections founded in shared interests, values and goals.

Here, three women share how a new interest helped them find friends, and a greater feeling of purpose.

“Fishing gave me control back”: Jo Starling, 56

“Fishing saved my life. I didn’t start fishing until my 30s but just before my 21st birthday I was brutally raped, and that’s not something that fits into anyone’s life plan. In the past three years, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder from that attack. I went through three decades being completely disconnected from myself.

During that time, my second [husband], the father of my daughter, was an avid fisherman. My sisters-in-law, who were avid ‘fishos’, asked me to join their all-girls fishing team for a big barramundi tournament in the Northern Territory.

The experience of learning from women was completely different. I look back now and realise that time spent on the river with those women was what stopped my PTSD taking over my life and perhaps taking my life. The practical life skills, survival skills and self-reliance that is built into recreational fishing gave me control back and rebuilt my self-esteem and sense of self.

I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life making sure that every woman and child had the opportunity to learn recreational fishing. It’s gone from online teaching and in clinics through to what became ‘the Barra’ Prentice’, taking one woman from zero to hero on her skills ahead of a tournament. In 2017, our team won it. That turned a lot of heads, and we were asked to turn this program into something bigger. In 2021, the Women’s Recreational Fishing League was born.

There are millions of women across Australia fishing. Many women are time-poor, so we try to bring fishing to wherever the women are and meet them there. We have virtual league nights, chat groups, on-water and on-land catch-ups and pot-luck dinners, and pro/am-style tournaments. The women who come champion that aspect of, ‘I can do it, too’ in what’s a traditionally male-dominated space. A lot of our members are older women with fishing experience who want to help other women discover empowerment.

Having complete strangers come together to pursue their passion for fishing and be involved in a women’s group has created a tribe that’s beyond explanation. Women have told us that it’s changed their lives. I don’t think you can ask for anything more powerful than that.”

“It’s like having a second family”: Indigo Willing, 53

“I grew up next to a [skateboarding] half-pipe. It was totally rad, but there were no girls. I didn’t get the courage to skate until I was 41. I’m a sociologist with a background studying children on the margins of society; as an academic, I research [skate] culture more broadly, and I run programs and events to make gender equity more normal in the skate park to reflect the broader society that wants to skate now.

I first learned to ‘drop in’ at a very small ramp and I really hurt myself, but it [gave me] such adrenaline that I got up and did it again – and I landed it. I thought that was impossible for someone my age to do. It’s because I had encouragement, and when I hurt myself, I had the drive and support to get back up.

I skate around three times a week. When I started, I had a lot more bone density and flexibility, and I would throw myself down three or even five stairs. The injuries linger longer now, so I’ve had to modify the tricks to be lower.

Once a week, I hang out with a women, queer and non-binary group called Skate with Me at Sydney Park, or with [skate group] Foenix Cruisers. If there’s a social women’s skating event that I can support, I’ll be there.

You can’t be who you don’t see, and you have to learn by trial and error. [I co-founded] Respect is Rad, an awareness campaign within the skate network. If people come to a skate event run by Respect is Rad, they’ll get tips on how to navigate the park, support to learn new tricks, skateboarding chats, and advice on buying their first board or how to get filmed skating.

Skate meet-ups serve three purposes. The first is to have someone welcome you into the park; the second is helping to skateboard: showing you how to do a trick, cheering you on or holding your hand; the third is building community.

Skateboarding gives women permission to really challenge themselves, to accomplish things rather than having to worry about what people think about them, and to live in the moment. Having a huge sense of community in the skate park is like having a second family. It allows women to encourage each other to be daring and take risks at an age where people say we shouldn’t be doing something so physical. It’s hard, too; women really bond over that.”

“CWA’s a massive part of my life”: Lyn Braico, 61

“Whenever I talk about the Country Women’s Association of NSW, the first thing everyone asks is, ‘Ooh, did you bring your scones?’ And I say, ‘Yeah, I did, but do you know what these mean? They’re food, they’re friendship and over the years they’ve raised millions of dollars for women, their families and communities.’

I’m third generation. My grandmother was a founding member of our local branch, then my mother became involved in her early 20s. I have been involved since I was a child because of the various competitions the CWA holds, such as junior cooking. And I’ve stayed focused on it ever since, attending meetings as an adult since the 1990s.

Back then, I was the youngest member by a generation. That had its challenges as I was bringing my children to the meeting. At times, older members frowned upon children running around, which is ironic as we’re here for women and children; that’s why we were formed. You still see that prejudice but it’s getting much better.

At our branch, it’s mainly women in their 50s to 80s, a lovely, vibrant, young-at-heart group. It’s not just women sitting around knitting; it’s women making change and having a voice; we support medical research, education grants and disaster relief; and we are responsible for simple ideas we take for granted, such as seatbelts in cars, L and P plates, and train level-crossing lights.

Once women realise we have more than tea and scones on offer, everything changes. They can find what they’re interested in, hone and share their skills and learn from others. A lot of crafts are being passed down, so they won’t be lost. It makes me go all gooey when I think about it. It’s a huge part of my life that I’m very proud of. There’s been kindness and heartache and joy and laughter – and god knows how many scones I’ve made.

Through CWA, I have been so lucky. I have travelled Australia and the world. I have made friendships going on 20, 30, 40 years. I still see the women who mentored me, and I’m now mentoring younger women.”

The writer is a member of the Country Women’s Association of NSW.

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