Is it interfering if I plan a party for my anti-social partner’s sister?

My husband isn’t social. His dear sister will be celebrating her birthday soon and I’d like to make plans for a party at our house, but she’s HIS sister and I don’t want to interfere. If I leave it to him, though, nothing will happen. What should I do?
A.M., Mulgrave, Vic

A: Not that I would ever dabble in outdated, offensive gender stereotypes, but most men are like this. Few of us would feel compelled to organise a celebratory gathering with food and booze and public displays of affection towards loved ones. It just seems too time-consuming, especially when there’s so much good TV to watch and salty snacks to eat and comfy toilet seats to sit on for unnecessarily long periods of time.

And again, without pushing any outdated, offensive gender stereotyping, most women make excellent party organisers. You just seem to instinctively know how to cater for 400 different diets, where to shift furniture so people don’t bang into coffee tables, which guests will mix well with other guests and which guests are going to stab each other’s faces with bamboo arancini skewers.

So while avoiding all outdated, offensive gender stereotyping, I think a socially inept man would be very relieved if a party-loving woman offered to organise his sister’s party for him. And if you delegated pre-party jobs using simple commands such as “Buy cake”, “Shift table”, “Write emotional, heartfelt speech without inappropriate opening gag!” , I’m sure he’ll help out.

Then, on the big night, he’ll show up, mingle awkwardly, say something vaguely nice to his sister and wind up hanging around the beverage table for most of the night, making himself useful by warning guests which beer-bottle caps are twist-top and which beer-bottle caps are going to painfully shred their fingers.

guru@goodweekend.com.au

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