I’ve forgotten my neighbour’s name and now it’s too late to ask

I’ve forgotten my neighbour’s name. He’s very friendly and calls me by my first name every time we meet. It’s way too late to ask and I don’t want to ask my other neighbours. Help!
J.K., Northbridge, NSW

A: It’s a shame you don’t want to ask your other neighbours because that would be the simplest solution. Or you could try a more actorly technique and tell your neighbour that you have memory loss from a recent head injury and could he please remind you of his name, and also your own. Or you could just sneak a peek inside his letterbox, which would be a more illegal method under Division 471 of the Criminal Code Act 1995.

Another option: you could try a journalistic approach and do what my wife and I did when we needed to fix our rotting, borer-infested back fence shared by the empty house behind us. We became a pair of investigative fence reporters and called ourselves Woodworm and Borer-Stain.

First, we contacted the highest level of government: local council, specifically the Customer Service Department. Then we filled out an “Application for Property Owner Details” and got the surname of the person who owned the empty house behind us. Then we went on White Pages and got an initial to go with the surname. Next we Google-searched the initial, surname and address – and after about three hours of in-depth research, not only did we know the homeowner’s contact details, we also knew he was born in Italy, sailed to Australia in the ’50s, ran a florist business that closed in the 2000s and was now bankrupt and so probably couldn’t afford to pay for half of a new fence. I recommend trying that: it’s a great way to get to know your neighbour, their entire life history and maybe even their Wi-Fi password.

guru@goodweekend.com.au

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