I’m 38 and a public figure, but I’ve never been in a long-term relationship

David Stevens is better known by his stage name, David the Medium. The 38-year-old clairvoyant and spiritual medium came out as gay in the early 2000s but has never had a long-term relationship. Here, he talks about the important women in his life, especially his mum, Anne.

My maternal grandmother, June, was like a second mother to me. She retired young due to health issues, which meant I spent a lot of time with her. We went on trips to Darwin together because she loved the hot weather – and crocodiles!

She was a fun “rocker” grandmother: her favourite artists were Kris Kristofferson and Jim Morrison. She also loved the TV series Angel, a Buffy the Vampire Slayer spin-off. She was very intuitive and also read tarot cards.

My paternal grandmother, Rae, worked full-time in the 1960s and raised three kids. Her first child was stillborn and she was told to keep going and move on after such a traumatic event – very typical of that generation. Despite this sadness, she always had a sense of humour and was loving and protective. She passed away in 2018.

My mum, Anne, is my best friend. We live in the same apartment complex in Port Melbourne and I see her every day. She was a stay-at-home mother when we were growing up, but once she split with Dad she went back into the workforce. She retired five years ago from a corporate administration role at a law firm.

Mum gives good advice but she is also very matter-of-fact. My parents didn’t have a great relationship and she was good at protecting us from that. My older brother, Aaron, and I are good people because of her upbringing. Mum said Dad put her off men. She hasn’t re-partnered and is very independent.

I have saved Mum’s life three times. The first was 12 years ago. She had a lung infection that she ignored and which turned into pneumonia, then an internal infection. If I hadn’t been there to call an ambulance, they told me she would have died.

On Father’s Day in 2019, Mum rang me to say she wasn’t feeling well. I experienced a divine intervention telling me to go and see her. When I got to her place, she was lying in the bathroom after a heart attack. I called triple-0 and saw Mum lifting herself off the floor. She made a miraculous recovery. Then, two weeks later, she had a gall bladder infection. If I hadn’t randomly visited her, she wouldn’t have survived. We’re energetically connected.

Mum always said I was an intuitive child. She was supportive of me when I told her I was going from a career in legal administration to becoming a full-time medium. There was that motherly fear – “Will he be OK?” – but she never stopped me.

My first kiss happened when I was 14. She was a friend from school I found physically attractive. I think most gay men, even though we aren’t sexually active at that age, know we aren’t attracted to girls in that way. I kissed her and felt nothing. That’s when I knew I wasn’t attracted to women.

I came out in the early 2000s. Melbourne was very conservative back then and my generation of gay men had a stigma about coming out; we didn’t want to disappoint our parents. Mum did tell my brother that it would be such a hard life for me – that was the fear she grew up with. It was a journey and a process we got through.

As depressing as it might sound, I have never been in a long-term relationship. There was healing I had to do about my dad leaving my mother, and while I don’t blame him, it definitely impacted my sense of commitment and how I view male relationships. There was a guy who was a strong part of my life 10 years ago; we were together on and off.

At this stage, I’m open to whatever. I’d love to meet someone and want to marry and have the clichéd happily ever after. For the first time in my life I feel there is space for it.

David the Medium is touring Australia from October to December.

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