My teen crush was Michael Jackson. He told my brother I ‘looked like a boy’

Performer Tottie Goldsmith, whose aunt was Olivia Newton-John, had a colourful childhood, growing up in the world of her nightclub-king father’s businesses. Here, the 62-year-old former member of 1980s group the Chantoozies discusses the important relationships in her life, and why she’s happily single.

My maternal grandfather, Brinley Newton-John, was born in Cardiff, Wales, and was the first man I ever had a crush on. He came to Australia with his family in 1954 and was a professor of German literature. I still wear the wedding ring he gave my grandmother, Irene. He died in 1992.

My father, Brian Goldsmith, was the godfather of the nightclub industry in Melbourne. He was quirky, charismatic, ruggedly handsome, with a penchant for getting married – he had four marriages and one engagement. He was with his last partner for 17 years and had eight children by four different women. I am one of three children from his first marriage. Dad died in 2020, aged 88.

Mum [Rona Newton-John, sister of Olivia] left us when I was not quite three years old and went to the UK to pursue her career as an actress and model. We then moved in with my dad’s mother, Elizabeth, for three years.

Dad remarried when I was six; he was desperate to find a mother for his children. She was a young woman and he did have a child with her, but it wasn’t a healthy relationship. Dad’s revolving relationships meant we often changed schools and lived above his clubs and pubs.

When I was 18, I flew to Los Angeles to meet my mother. It was hard because I was going through my awkwardly chubby phase. My maternal grandfather sat opposite me as I met her and was holding a photo in his hands. He looked me in the eye and said he was holding a picture of the most beautiful girl. I thought he was referring to my mother, but then showed me a picture of me with freckles. He was the first man who made me feel beautiful.

I didn’t have good male role models and I kept attracting men who either left me, which represented my mother, or who weren’t available.

Dad gave my band, the Chantoozies, our first gig, for my 24th birthday. He loved it so much he gave us a residency, which led to a record deal. Dad taught me the value of being yourself. He was always funny, an amazing raconteur who liked to bend the truth. Dad also showed me that money doesn’t define you. As an entrepreneur, sometimes he was rolling in it and driving a Rolls-Royce, other times wondering what to do next.

My brother, Brett, is one year older than me. He taught me how to wrestle. He was also our bass player in the Chantoozies. We had a good friendship when we were young but he always got me into trouble.

My first crush was Michael Jackson. I met his family at one of Dad’s clubs when I was 13. Michael told my brother that my short hair made me look like a boy – I was heartbroken because I was smitten with him. I also had a crush on John Travolta. He taught me how to tap dance.

I have had a tough run with dating. I didn’t have good male role models and I kept attracting men who either left me, which represented my mother, or who weren’t available. My Aunt Liv was influential in helping me heal and seeing that these relationships were important for me to grow.

I married skier Steven Lee, and we have a daughter, Layla, who’s 31. I don’t think either of us were in a good enough place to have a successful marriage, but we have become good friends. He had a stroke five years ago, which devastated me, and lives with our daughter now.

As we get older, all of us go into relationships hoping it is forever. The older you get, the more you realise you don’t have time to waste.

I work as a marriage celebrant and do believe in marriage, but I don’t know if I would do it again. It would depend on how much the other person wanted to. I am happy with my life and it’s not something I’m thinking about.

Tottie Goldsmith is in Olivia at Memo Music Hall, Melbourne, September 21, and Bird’s Basement, Melbourne, October 9.

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