This was published 2 years ago
Are car arguments valid entertainment?
Stuck in traffic, I enjoyed watching (via my rear-view mirror) a lovers’ tiff in the car behind mine. When I got home and told my partner, I was berated for watching. Are car arguments valid entertainment?
M.S., St Kilda East, Vic
A: Absolutely. Good entertainment is hard to find these days. Movies are mostly overproduced, underwritten crud designed for six-year-old boys on a Hoyts birthday-party package. Theatre is so expensive that not many of us can afford a ticket. And some TV has peaked. There’s nothing good left to watch: we’ve binged every drama, every comedy, every fantasy series where nothing happens for 188 episodes and then every major character gets their throat slit in about three minutes.
So being stuck in traffic, watching a lovers’ tiff in the car behind you, sounds like the most exciting, original and affordable entertainment in town.
You’ve got drama in the argument, comedy in the facial expressions, action when you get so distracted you forget to move with the traffic, then someone behind you honks and you panic and slam down the accelerator. And you’ve got potential slasher-horror when you ram into a vehicle driven by a bearded bloke with WarBeast tattooed across his forehead.
As long as you don’t cause an accident or stare too obviously, I say sit back and enjoy your front-row car seats to The Rear-Window Lovers’ Tiff; it’s reality TV without needing a TV. And if you’re looking for other enjoyable, free entertainment options, I highly recommend Man on Crowded Train Talking Obnoxiously Loudly on Phone and Kid Swearing at Parents in Supermarket Confectionery Aisle. Personally, I’d avoid Middle-Aged Couple at Restaurant Whining About Menu Prices. I was in it. Performances drag and the ending’s a fizzer.
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Danny Katz is a columnist for The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald. He writes the Modern Guru column in the Good Weekend magazine. He is also the author of the books Spit the Dummy, Dork Geek Jew and the Little Lunch series for kids.