Should we get time off from work after a break-up?

In the wake of a break-up, there’s a lot going on. Alongside big emotions – whether sadness, grief, regret or anger – there are often logistics to manage, like finding a place to live, telling friends and family and figuring out finances. In some instances, there’s co-parenting to navigate and – heaven forbid – a decision to make around who gets the dog.

At the same time, there are also the demands of your job. Often your work remains separate to your personal struggles, but perhaps it doesn’t have to.

Earlier this year, the Philippines parliament considered a bill that would introduce “heartbreak leave”, to give employees time off after a break-up.

If employees and businesses can find common ground in granting this leave, experts say they’ll both benefit. So, is heartbreak leave likely in Australia? And how might it work?

Asking your boss for time away

Psychotherapist and relationship counsellor Melissa Ferrari says a break-up can decimate someone’s mental health.

“Unlike the TV show Severance, we are not separated from things in our personal life at work. We take our emotions and feelings into the workplace,” Ferrari says.

“In a break-up, the impact can be akin to PTSD ... so it is something that needs to be taken seriously.”

When there are real threats to the mental health of an employee, Ferrari says it should be treated like any other health condition.

Workplace expert Dr Michelle Gibbings says that when employees take an honest and up-front approach, it yields the best results.

“It always depends on the relationship with your boss … [but] a good leader will recognise that when someone’s gone through a relationship breakdown, it can be a form of trauma and distress,” she says. “And they’ll recognise that the employee potentially does need some time off, and that giving them that time off to rest and recuperate is going to be a good thing for the working relationship.”

Before asking for time away from work, she suggests deciding exactly how much time you would like off and how that might impact the business.

“Consider what’s reasonable, and ... ask in a way that minimises any negative impact to the rest of the team. But also be honest about what it is that you need as well.”

Heartbreak leave isn’t on businesses’ radar

Superannuation company Future Group was one of the first businesses in Australia to introduce menopausal and menstrual leave. Additionally, it offers mental health leave, miscarriage leave and time off for staff who are transitioning gender. Despite being at the forefront of progressive leave entitlements, heartbreak leave isn’t one of them.

“We haven’t considered that one,” says Christina Hobbs, Future Group’s general manager.

“I think it is something that could be considered and potentially under a category of special leave that could include a variety of different areas where people are very mentally affected.”

While furniture giant IKEA brought in liberal entitlements for retail staff last year, such as five weeks’ annual leave and grandparent leave, Greg Day, IKEA’s Australia co-worker experience manager, says the retailer hasn’t contemplated heartbreak leave but does “try to have leave available for all the different types of co-workers that we have at different life stages”.

Why businesses might worry

Paul Zahra, chief executive of the Australian Retailers Association, says the group widely encourages retailers to implement compassionate leave policies but adds that it’s tough on small businesses.

“While some businesses have capacity to offer greater leave entitlements, it’s important to note that small businesses that rely on a smaller workforce may not be able to match the entitlements offered by larger businesses,” Zahra says.

“The ARA supports retailers implementing leave policies that best suit their businesses and employees.”

Victorian Chamber of Commerce and Industry chief executive Paul Guerra says leave policies are up to the individual employer, but noted “if we want to lift wages and living standards, we must also boost productivity and outputs”.

‘Workers aren’t widgets’

Dr Lisa Heap, a senior researcher at the Australia Institute Centre for Future Work and a former union worker, says formal heartbreak leave isn’t a priority for unions or businesses.

“But I’m really interested in what that signalling is saying is that we recognise that people can’t just continue on. Workers are not widgets that you can calibrate and change.”

Although heartbreak leave might be on the backburner, workers are keen on other entitlements. Heap says menstrual and menopausal leave have momentum within the union movement, as do cultural days of significance.

And while there’ll be no leave for losing a husband or a girlfriend, how about man’s best friend?

“I have heard people desperately wanting to have pet leave ... after the loss of a pet.”

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