Going on a cruise is like entering a parallel universe

“What sort of deranged maniac takes a suit on holiday with them?”

It’s fair to say my initial reaction to discovering the existence of Formal Night aboard the Majestic Princess was not entirely joyous. Getting dressed up in ball gowns, jackets and ties a couple of times a fortnight is one of the many idiosyncrasies that makes cruising a whole lot more than just hopping between pretty islands on a big boat.

For a naive greenhorn blundering into this fancy nautical world, it’s a bit like learning a new language full of colloquialisms. Long before boarding the ship, I’m downloading an app, filling in details for a medallion that will unlock doors and trying to work out the differences between various drinks packages. I’m urged to make bookings for speciality restaurants, too, which for someone accustomed to staying in hotels where “restaurant” doesn’t have a plural form, is yet another oddity to navigate.

Once on board, the alien language of cruising continues. Port and starboard instead of left and right, I had expected. Staterooms instead of rooms or cabins, not so much. Then come muster stations, all aboard times, tenders and sea days.

Along with the specialist jargon comes a hefty sprinkling of pageantry. Passengers eagerly turn up for the “sailaway ceremony” as the ship leaves Athens, then queue to have their photo taken with officers pouring bottles of bubbly over a 10-tiered stack of glasses at the champagne fountain party. I frequently find myself baffled by things that everyone else seems to treat as perfectly normal.

But as the ship sails from port to port, I start to realise that the parallel universe aspect of cruising is a big part of the appeal. For those who have done dozens of cruises, there’s a happy pride in knowing how it all works. They love being able to pass on knowledge about the differences between ships, the best bar for unusual cocktails or the hidden hangout that’s great for reading a book in peace.

Bonds form over it, too. As the cruise progresses, groups that were once strangers rise early to do yoga with Nikola the giant Serb, and get increasingly determined to topple those damned Canadians who keep winning the trivia quizzes.

A few days in, something strange happens. “At breakfast time,” I say to a stranger eye-rolling as she waits for the lifts, “it’s best to use the midship lifts and walk across to the buffet than wait for the aft lifts.”

Next I’m telling people that it’s blue carpets on the starboard side, red on the port. Or that if you go to the indoor pool rather than the outdoor pool in the morning, you can usually get a bubbling spa to yourself.

Titbit of knowledge by titbit of knowledge, I begin to realise how powerfully satisfying learning and sharing the secrets is. In this respect, cruising is similar to other passions that are incomprehensible to outsiders, like musical theatre, cricket or collecting wine. Entering a different world is often where the pleasure lies.

The writer was a guest of Princess Cruises. See princess.com