NRL’s Las Vegas carry-on is over-the-top absurd … but that’s the point. And it works

They tell me the NRL season starts in Las Vegas this weekend? Four teams have flown over, together with a lot of fans, apparently? And I think I read somewhere it is the greatest sporting triumph and extravaganza in the history of the world? If only the media would do a little more on it, we could all be up to date.

More seriously, good luck to them. As expensive as the whole thing is, as overblown is the hype, the pay-off is indeed in “the vibe”. I think the carry-on is over-the-top absurd. You think the carry-on is over-the top absurd. But there is no doubt that that very carry-on flows into the start of the season as both ratings and attendances lift.

This year, though, the thing I don’t get is the teams they selected. Right now, the most interesting teams to watch in the NRL are the likes of the Broncos, the Raiders, Parramatta and Penrith. None have made the cut. Instead, they’ve chosen the modern-day “Never-the-groom-always-the-groomsman” teams: Knights v Cowboys and Dragons v Bulldogs. Of those four, only the Bulldogs are a “lean-forward, let’s see what they’ve got this year” side. The other three will simply make up the numbers, and we already know that before the season starts.

I’ll be in my trailer.

Iongi’s photo fail a real pen-and-inker

“The stupidest stupid,” my Hungarian-born maths teacher Steve Koroknay used to say to me with some vigour, “is that stupid, who does not know he is stupid.” A case in point is the rising Eels star Isaiah Iongi, who suffered when an image purportedly showing him preparing to smoke an unknown substance began circulating on social media this week. Exactly what that substance was – though it looked to be a long way from a Winnie Blue – I neither know, nor care. It’s his damn business, not mine.

And we have previously seen people facing catastrophic consequences because, while doing dubious things, they have posed for photos. One way out has been to claim that it is all a case of mistaken identity.

In the case of Iongi, the first stupid part was not yelling at whoever had a camera before him to put the damn thing down and delete the photo. The stupidest stupid part though is even beginning to do something like that, when denials that it was him were always going to be difficult when his own name is tattooed in large letters on his chest ...

Top of the props

Love this from Andrew Johns’s column in the Herald this week:

“I asked Warren Ryan once, ‘How many front-rowers do you need to play first grade at your club?’.

“He responded, ‘Well, you need two starting front-rowers. You need two front-rowers on your bench. And you need another two out suspended’.”

Rugby union’s version of that is, “The two most important players in your team are the tight-head prop and the reserve tight-head prop!”

Max-imum effect

Listen, in the case of Waratahs and Wallabies winger Max Jorgensen, last Friday’s match against the Fijian Drua was less a case of “a star is born” than “a supernova explodes”. For we have seen some of Jorgensen’s stuff before, which marked him out as possibly being a once-in-a-generation player, a la David Campese back in the day. It wasn’t just the two tries he scored. There was also the one that got away, called back for a nominal “forward pass” that, while it escaped the naked eye, could possibly be discerned if you played it back every which way, from every angle, in slo-mo, and stopped the whole game for two minutes. Thank goodness, they caught it.

For that second near-try of Jorgensen, like the first actual one, displayed his staggering ability to get through a solid wall of defence by unleashing a mesmerising step that looks to be all his own. It’s sort of a Foxtrot-on-fast-forward, which leaves would-be tacklers grasping at thin air, gasping in the eddies of wind he has left behind.

It lacks only one thing. Campo’s was called the “goosestep”, and it took off the moment it was so named, capturing the public imagination. The best I can come up with is Jorgensen’s “utter-stutter-step” but I am sure you can do better? Whatever it is, it’s mesmerising to watch.

Winter Olympics of discontent

Dear Sir,
I wasn’t surprised when I read that there’d been a “verbal stoush”, involving swearing at the gold medal Curling match (Accused Canadians win gold in curling, SMH 22/2/26).
Every time I see this “sport” on the tele, I say WTF?

Kent Mayo, Uralla

Old gold: Bob was in a league of his own

Meantime? Meantime the Manly-Warringah basketball community this week farewelled Bob Guthrie, a legendary figure around the courts of the northern beaches who held the distinction of being the oldest player ever to compete in an MWBA Division 1 fixture.

While his incredible fitness had him playing well into his 70s, winning multiple championships along the way, Bob was more than just a player – he was also a coach, referee, mentor and mate to generations of Manly b-ballers.

As the unofficial heartbeat of Sunday morning training sessions at Narrabeen High School since the early 1980s - often quietly paying the court hire bill from his own pocket – Bob worked tirelessly to bring new players to the game, and then to make them better. He could sledge with the best of them, too. According to MWBA vice president Brian Chapman: “If you were slowing down, you could expect Bob to surgically remove the ball from behind your back and all you would hear from Bob was, ‘Get a waist’.”

In short, he was one of a kind, and his former teammates are looking to ensure his legacy lives on by establishing an annual tournament in his name. This would consist of two elements that sum up the man – a seniors competition and a junior coaching program, to keep the flame burning for generations to come.

To anyone who would like to help get the inaugural Bob Guthrie Tournament off the ground, you can donate here. (We older players of the Northern Suburbs Basketball Association at Crows Nest – TFF’s Lizards team has been going for 36 years now – would be honoured to play.)

What They Said

Australian Daniel Bennie on scoring for QPR: “It just dropped to me on the edge of the box and I was just like, ‘f--- it, why not hit it?’ and it just went top corner.” That, friends, is the spirit our country was built on!

Peter V’landys, after his plane bound for Las Vegas was turned around with a mechanical emergency just an hour over the Pacific: “I knew we shouldn’t have employed AFL engineers.”

Jack Hughes, whose goal won ice hockey gold for USA, after being hit in the face by a high stick: “My first thought was, draw the penalty. Actually, my first thought, I looked on the ice and saw my teeth.”

Canadian men’s ice hockey coach Jon Cooper: “At the end, you’re going to read in a book that in 2026 USA won the gold in Olympic hockey and Canada won the silver. I think in the grand scheme, the big winner of this tournament was ice hockey.” Someone had to say it!

Emma Lawrence on being the first mainstream media female NRL commentator, calling the matches for Triple M: “Calling the game that I love alongside such an elite crew is an absolute thrill, and I can’t wait to take listeners through every tackle, try, and big moment.”

Ukrainian skeleton rider Vladyslav Heraskevych has no regrets after being banned from the Winter Olympics for displaying images of slain Ukrainian athletes on his helmet: “I’m not a hero. I don’t believe I did something heroic. Of course, I’m very thankful for all of the support. But I believe the people on the helmet are the heroes. There are kids there who were not able to have an adult life. But it’s because of them the whole world is talking about Ukraine, not me.”

Polish short track skater Kamila Sellier after getting gashed in the face by a skate: “I know that one day I’ll look at this picture and remember that I’m stronger than I ever believed.”

Jaxon Smith-Njigba on being the best wide receiver in the NFL and signing a new deal: “I know my time is coming, and when we get it done, it’s going to be a great deal. God’s timing is perfect timing, so whenever that may come, we’ll be ready for it. I believe I deserve to be the highest paid in my position.” Jaxon, I thought we discussed this? Read The God Delusion.

A spokesperson for German President Frank-Walter Steinmeier on Germany bidding for the 2036 Games as the centenary of the games in Berlin: “The President views the year 2036 as historically problematic for a German bid.” Against that, seriously, it would draw attention to how far Germany has come from the horrors of Nazism.

Waratahs coach Dan McKellar on Max Jorgensen managing to score a try by picking a tiny lock in a door that looked to be about half a metre wide: “Honestly, he’s beaten him in a phone booth. There aren’t many players that can score that try on the planet. It’s a great moment. He’s building the highlights reel quickly.”

Rugby league journalist James Hooper on crashing his ute while five times over the limit: “The night before that night, I drank a bottle of bourbon at home by myself. I was in a pretty bad place. I thought the bottom of a bottle of bourbon had all the answers.”

Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta on dealing with the pressure: “You ask them the question: do you want to be part of the noise? Or not? If not, go and do something else, be part of a different club. Everybody has been demanding for 10 years, 15 years that we need to go back there [fighting for the title] and now we are there. And now what? You don’t want noise?”

Team of the Week

Matildas. Kick off the Asian Cup on Sunday in Perth. Have lost their mojo recently, and need their players to stay healthy and to string some wins together.

“King Daryl Carney”. Such is the name selected by Todd Carney and his partner, Susie Bradley, for their third child. (Never mind that it is one of 89 names legally banned.) King joins sister Baby, and brother Lion. And good luck to them all!

Sydney Kings. Topped NBL regular season standings.

Ange Postecoglou. Every match Tottenham lose – which is pretty much every game – the decision to sack him looks ever more ludicrous.

Waratahs. Two wins from two.

Floyd Mayweather Jnr and Manny Pacquiao. The two legendary boxers, both nudging 50, have announced a fight. What’s worse? That they will scramble each other’s brains some more, for pay, or that some people will pay to watch it? Discuss. Send angry emails. See if I care.

Sydney Swans. Get the AFL season under way next Thursday at the SCG against – checks notes – Carlton. Not that you care, but TFF will be in da house, and shall report back on the experience!

Bodø/Glimt. Norwegian team through to last 16 of Champions League after knocking out last year’s finalists, Inter Milan. I am assured this is a very big deal, and prima facie, it certainly sounds so.

RIP Terry Williams. A beloved figure of the mighty Newtown Jets, the long-time club historian, author and Marrickville man passed away recently. The Herald sends its condolences to the club, his widow Denise, his children and grandchildren. He had a dig.