Five days, three codes, two nations: Prepare for a week of Australia-England battles like no other

Australia and England’s sporting rivalry began on a cricket field almost 150 years ago and has spread its tentacles into every other field, court, ground and arena imaginable.

So this week feels like a fitting entree for the men’s Ashes series that will dominate the summer sporting scene.

In the space of five days, the two nations will do battle across three different football codes: women’s soccer, men’s rugby league and men’s rugby union.

As far as we can tell, it’s unprecedented; never before has there been so many opportunities for one-upmanship, between the so-called “mother country” and the antipodean upstarts, squeezed together in such a short space of time.

Immense gratitude, then, goes to the fixturing gods for assembling a smorgasbord of potential sporting schadenfreude, foreshadowing a summer of childish needling about moral victories and unethical stumpings during the five-Test Ashes series, which begins on November 21 in Perth.

Unfortunately, it’s all happening on enemy territory, which means an early start and/or an all-nighter on the weekend – although that will make it sweeter in the event of one, two or even three Australian victories this week.

Here’s what you’ve got to look forward to.

LIONESSES vs MATILDAS

International friendly, 6am Wednesday (AEDT) – Pride Park, Derby

Sure, it’s just a friendly. You could say that. But you’d be missing a few crucial things.

Firstly, in the women’s game, every international is treated with a level of reverence and seriousness that the men usually reserve for competitive fixtures; any opportunity to pull on the national colours is prized.

Secondly, this is an opportunity for revenge, since this is the first showdown between Australia and England since the 2023 Women’s World Cup semi-final – the most-watched television event in Australian history, in which Sam Kerr’s famous long-distance goal was not enough to take the tiring Tillies past the European champions and into the final.

Thirdly, this is another critical test for Joe Montemurro’s side as they continue to prepare for next year’s home Women’s Asian Cup, and the chance to measure up against the might of the Lionesses will tell us plenty about how they’re shaping up.

Fourthly, it’s another opportunity for Kerr to continue to build her match fitness after her welcome return for the Matildas in their win over Wales on the weekend.

We could go on.

ENGLAND vs KANGAROOS

Second Test, 1.30am Sunday (AEDT) – Hill Dickinson Stadium, Liverpool

Long before the cricketing Ashes go up for grabs, the chance to claim the first rugby league Ashes series since the rivalry’s revival beckons for the all-conquering Australians, who put on a clinic in front of more than 60,000 people at the historic Wembley Stadium last weekend.

Game two takes them to the brand-spanking-new home of Premier League side Everton, which only opened its doors earlier this year. It’s an impressive new canvas upon which Reece Walsh and his mates can paint another vivid masterpiece.

Victory will make it 14 series wins in a row for Australia; to deny them, or even make them wait until the third Test next week, will require a massive turnaround from England, whose coach reckons there are “easy fixes” to the areas where they were shown up. We’ll see. They might have invented rugby league, but we’ve perfected it.

ENGLAND vs WALLABIES

International friendly, 2.10am Sunday (AEDT) – Twickenham, London

Twelve months ago, the Wallabies shocked the world – and perhaps even themselves – by knocking off England at the alleged home of rugby for the first time in a decade, with debutant Joseph-Aukuso Suaalii immediately taking the 15-man universe by storm.

They are a better side today, and after a solid stress-test of their depth against Japan, will look to prove that beyond any doubt as they begin an exciting spring tour of Europe.

Though Len Ikitau and Tom Wright, two of the stars behind last year’s memorable win, are among a long list of unavailable top-liners, and though England are considered favourites again, this is a crucial game with more than just bragging rights on the line: crucial ranking points are at stake, which could shape Australia’s 2027 World Cup fortunes.