Perpetrators are using vacuums and photo frames to spy on women. Connie and other ex-policewomen are fighting back

For a man wanting to destroy the credibility of the woman he’s tormenting, half the battle is won, says former police officer Connie Carroll, “if he can make her look crazy”.

The tactics used by the most fixated family violence perpetrators to get into their victims’ heads turn up so often that Carroll and others working to disrupt them suspect a how-to guide may be circulating.

One of the latest stalking tools: the smart robot vacuum cleaner. Many come with microphones and cameras to help the device take commands and navigate, but they can be hacked as a way to monitor women.

“One guy manipulated the camera to follow his ex-wife around in the house,” says Carroll, and others have used the robovac features to listen to conversations in their ex-partner’s home.

“One woman said to me, ‘I just thought it was so odd that he insisted on putting a smoke alarm directly above the bed’ – we found a pinhole camera in it.”

Another’s perpetrator contacted her child immediately after Carroll had advised the woman to unplug a digital photo frame given by his father.

“He was dropping photos to it, but he was also listening to them,” she says. “He realised it was turned off and had already called and asked his son to turn it back on again.”

Abusers often want their victims to suspect they are being watched and listened to, but without knowing how. An aim of this is to make targeted women seem paranoid and less believable if they go to police.

“The reality is, it’s almost like a little handbook goes out, you could put a template on it – it doesn’t matter what financial status or cultural background [the perpetrators] are from, they seem to have the same ideas,” says Carroll.

She spent 12 years seeing the aftermath of violence against women during her police career before starting her service, Once Blue, and says some women are so aware they’re under surveillance that when Carroll arrives she takes her gear in a shopping bag so the ex-partner who could be watching online thinks she’s a visiting friend.

As the Victorian government announces $2.7 million to trial Immediate Personal Safety Initiative measures, including security sweeps of women’s real-world and online environments, Carroll is one of several former police officers working nationally to disarm offenders’ means of remote coercive control.

They must explain to clients of family violence services that dozens of household devices and commonly used platforms could be giving their abusers access.

“Ring doorbells, keyless entry, Samsung smart fridges, soundbars in children’s rooms, Alexa, Google Chrome – we’ve seen everyone from people with significant IT businesses do this, to the street-level guys with no idea,” said Carroll.

“They will stitch AirTags into kids’ school bags, and if the mother has been moved, he knows that the bag will eventually go back to her place, and he’ll find her.”

Canberra-based former police officer Rose MacDonald has created a data protection platform for those experiencing family violence to upload all the vital identity and other documents they may need but might not have time to grab if they have to flee.

It is secure by design and took five years to build, and will be made available globally next year as part of a set of tools created by MacDonald and ex-defence intelligence operative Andrew Collins.

Three hundred Australian women who are considering leaving dangerous relationships or have done so already have all of their important personal data stored on the platform, whose international launch will be supported by a global women’s agency in March.

‘We have clients who might be up to their 15th phone: they can’t get rid of the tracking, and don’t know where it’s coming from.’

Rose MacDonald, former policewoman and digital women’s safety provider

Family violence services also refer clients to the pair’s Nansen Digital Forensics, who sweep for the presence of stalkers hiding in any aspect of a victim’s online life.

Worryingly, MacDonald is also increasingly seeing that even perpetrators with low digital skills can find tips easily to get into ex-partners’ virtual lives.

“We are finding there’s no particular skill set required; people can jump on AI and get information about how to do this, get into chat groups,” she says, adding that fixated offenders will use what they find to breach intervention orders.

“We have clients who might be up to their 15th phone; they can’t get rid of the tracking and don’t know where it’s coming from,” says MacDonald.

She and Carroll often find themselves working in tandem to expel manipulative perpetrators from all facets of victim/survivors’ lives, and for Carroll, who has experienced “an unhealthy relationship” herself, supporting other women as they find safety is deeply satisfying.

“Most of them open up, and I love the fact that when I leave, I can say to them – based on my experience – that now they’ve taken this step, there’s so much to look forward to.”

National Sexual Assault, Domestic Family Violence Counselling Service 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732).

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