Send in the pantomime Kevins!

Talk of a possible third round of “No Kings” rallies across the US has Nola Tucker of Kiama thinking that “we could assist the protesters with a few Aussie animals. I thought about a dingo but decided a jumping kangaroo, dressed in an Aussie flag might have more impact and be more easily recognised and would stand out among the frogs, giraffes and dinosaurs. Maybe a Rudd? Is anyone willing to contribute?”

“My wife Helen was on her way to New Guinea soon after September 11, when the authorities began to be very fussy about what passengers took in their carry-on baggage,” writes Paul Dennett of Coogee. “At Sydney Airport her jar of Vegemite (C8) was seized by security. She protested but was told that it could well be used during the flight to ‘smear’ on the cabin crew. The horror!”

Now we’ve solved the issue of pronouncing Wauchope (C8), David Prest of Thrumster asks, “how about Walcha, just up the road?”

“Speaking of exploding tins (C8), now my mother has passed on I can safely reveal the details of The Baked Bean Incident,” offers Andrew Taubman of Queens Park. “Quite why I chose to boil the can in water rather than heat the contents in a saucepan, I have no idea, but I got distracted until I heard an almighty THUMP from the kitchen. Upon returning, I was greeted by an almost perfect coat of luminous orange over every surface, including the ceiling. Hours of cleaning later, my mother had still not returned, so she never suspected what the source of that slightly sickly smell was, for the rest of our time in that house.”

And now, a sweetener from Lance Dover of Pretty Beach: “My goal when I ride my e-bike is the pioneers’ cemetery at Point Frederick where the historic gravestones are rearranged in garden beds. The large headstone of one Thomas A Scott (whom Tascott railway station honours), states that he was instrumental in establishing the sugar industry in Australia and that he died in 1888 at the age of 105. Who said sugar is bad for you?”

Caz Willis of Bowral isn’t too keen to pay the piper: “Is it Camp Pie (C8) or Camp-eye? Depends on who’s carving, I suppose. And you wonder why I’m a vegetarian. Does anyone know what is in it? On second thoughts, don’t tell me, let’s go back to condensed milk!”

Column8@smh.com.au

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