How Alex’s night out with friends became a nightmare

What should have been a fun night out for Alex* turned into a nightmare.

Two years ago, the then-23-year-old lost her friends in a nightclub and met a man who offered to drive her home.

She was usually wary of accepting lifts from strangers, but the man was incredibly charming and insisted he would get her home safe.

Instead, he took advantage of her alcohol-affected state. In the car, he told her it was dangerous for her to go to her eastern suburbs home alone while drunk, before driving her to his apartment. There, he picked her up off the couch she had crashed on, carried her to his bed, then raped her.

“I have relived that night over and over – I can’t escape it,” she said.

Alex was hesitant to report the crime for fear of being retraumatised and facing potential victim-blaming.

But, on learning about NSW Police’s anonymous online sexual violence reporting system, she has considered changing her mind.

‘I have relived that night over and over - I can’t escape it.’

Alex*, sexual assault victim

Online sexual assault reports to police have surged since the system was overhauled.

Exclusive data released to the Herald shows reports made to the online Sexual Assault Reporting Option, which allows victims to report anonymously and only progress with an investigation if and when they choose to, jumped by 52 per cent in a month, from 317 in March to 485 in April.

This increase coincided with a campaign aimed at increasing community awareness of sexual assault reporting options. Figures remained steady for the rest of the campaign, falling after it ended.

The sex crimes boss says there has been a rise in victim-survivors choosing to revisit their reports and seek legal action or non-legal support services.

Detective Superintendent Jayne Doherty said there was also a threefold rise in reports since January 2023, when the SARO portal replaced the original online reporting tool – which was presented in a “clunky” PDF format and required complainants to create fake email addresses for anonymity.

“Our highest [annual total] on the old PDF one was in 2022 and we had just short of 1000 reports,” Doherty said.

“The first year that we ran SARO, we’d gone up to over 3000, almost 4000, reports. And it’s been pretty consistent.”

Sexual assault victims 16 years and older, who do not want to speak with a police officer but want to alert them to the crime, can complete securely stored SARO questionnaire through a community portal. There are options for anonymous entries or for leaving contact details.

Doherty said the report, though not formal, can help police find repeat offenders, understand the criminal landscape of specific areas and empower victims to seek further support outside the legal process.

“What we find is a lot of victims use that option as a way of testing the waters,” she said.

“Some victims have reported it’s the first time they’ve actually articulated their story… [and they] have a very cathartic response, in that they’ve told someone, and then they feel they can go on and tell other people.”

Some people never contact police again, but others return “a day, week, year or 10 years later” and decide to proceed with an investigation, which may rely on crucial details from the earlier SARO report.

Australian Institute of Health and Welfare data shows sexual violence is one of the most underreported forms of violence, and, Doherty says, SARO reports show this is particularly prevalent in domestic violence. This information has helped police develop strategies to encourage more victims to come forward.

‘We’ve done a lot... but we can do more’

Doherty said despite the many measures police have taken to address the sexual assault crisis, more can be done.

Research consistently shows victim-blaming is a main deterrent for sharing stories.

‘You never question someone whose house has been broken into, but someone who says “I went on a Tinder date and was sexually assaulted”, people start to ask questions like ‘What were you wearing?’

Detective Superintendent Jayne Doherty

A 2022 study of 30 countries conducted by Ipsos and the Global Institute for Women’s Leadership at King’s College London found among the western countries, Australia had the highest proportion of people thinking women reporting abuse or rape made up or exaggerated their claims. That view was held by one in five people surveyed – and almost 30 per cent of men.

Doherty said tackling victim-blaming is a community-wide responsibility.

“We all have this image of what a sexual violence victim is, and when someone doesn’t quite fit that image, they get questioned,” she said.

“You never question someone whose house has been broken into, but someone who says, ‘I went on a Tinder date and was sexually assaulted’, people start to ask questions like ‘What were you wearing? What did you expect to happen?’ ”

Asked whether she felt police officers have at times contributed to stigma surrounding sexual assault victims, Doherty said NSW Police have “done a lot of work in relation to that, [as in] educating police in relation to an appropriate response to sexual violence”.

“There’s quite a few thousand police officers out there, but we are changing attitudes, we are educating ourselves, and we hope to educate the community as well.”

The SARO overhaul was made under NSW Police’s 2021-24 Sexual Violence Project, aimed at improving victim-focused and trauma-informed responses, while encouraging victims to report assaults or seek support – nearly nine out of 10 do not.

Other changes included the introduction of sexual violence portfolio holders, who drive each command’s response to sexual violence and visit schools and other community groups, as well as specialised victims’ rooms in every police station.

Earlier this year, police ran a three-month education campaign titled Your Say. Your Way via social media, online videos and outdoor advertising. It coincided with a 50 per cent increase in SARO reports.

“So, we’ve come a long way,” Doherty said.

“We’ve done a lot of things to change the police response to it, but we can do more, and we’ll continually improve.”

Alex has repeatedly relived being raped, but has been afraid to share her story

Alex understands concerns around victim-blaming all too well.

On many occasions, she considered reporting being raped, even driving to a police station with her sister one day and backing out as they arrived.

“It’s all just so intimidating,” she said.

“I haven’t told anyone but my sister because I can’t help but feel like people will ask why I drank so much, whether I gave him the wrong idea, why I got into his car.”

Alex added she was afraid of being retraumatised by the police and legal processes for the slim chance of seeing justice.

However, she was not aware of the SARO option until recently, and said she may decide to use it.

“It’s comforting to know that I can share my story and decide later if I want to press charges, but I don’t know if I’m ready,” she said.

Too early to tell impact of sexual assault legal reforms

Having worked with victims for decades, Doherty said a challenge is the hesitancy of many to proceed with an investigation due to trauma.

And for those who come forward, police can face challenges building a strong prosecution case due to the intimate setting of most sexual crimes.

Data released by the NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research in 2024 found fewer than 15 per cent of the 5869 sexual assaults reported to police in a year resulted in charges.

Less than half of those that made it to court resulted in a finding of guilty, resulting in about a 7 per cent conviction rate for all police reports.

Recent legal improvements include NSW affirmative consent laws enacted in 2022, which say consent must be a free, voluntary and ongoing communication of agreement, rather than presumed.

Last year, coercive control – an abusive pattern of assault, threats, humiliation or intimidation against a current or former intimate partner – was criminalised.

Doherty said it was too early to gauge the overall and lasting impact of these new laws, including coercive control in the context of sexual assaults.

“We’ve got a few matters coming through trials at the moment that will test those new consent laws … they haven’t been overly tested,” Doherty said, adding police will be “waiting for some time” for many of the coercive control offences to go to trial. She hoped these would make a difference.

She had this message for victims considering how to seek help: “Speak to us. Speak to related services… Full Stop Australia have victims’ advocacy services, they can help you through counselling and so on, until you feel confident enough to come forward to police.”

She said police won’t force victims to pursue legal action, but “will walk with you along that journey as far as you want to go”.

*Alex is a pseudonym

If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault or family violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732. In an emergency contact 000.