Brotherly love in short supply when Rachel Griffiths breaks her arm

Having directed a film about the Melbourne Cup, Ride Like a Girl, it is clear that actor Rachel Griffiths is mad for spring racing.

So the mere inconvenience of a broken limb was never going to stop her attending spring racing’s Derby Day at Flemington racecourse on Saturday, where she partook of cocktails in both the Lexus and Nine marquees. All while nursing a rather unusual fashion accessory – a cast for her broken arm.

Griffiths broke her arm in the kitchen while climbing on the bench to change a light bulb. “I broke my own arm by pushing myself on it,” she said.

“How many actresses does it take to change a lightbulb?” she asked CBD. “One, but she’ll have to follow up with her orthopaedic surgeon ...

“My brother said, ‘Have you thought it’s because your arse is too fat?’, and I said: ‘Well, you don’t even deserve a sister’.”

Griffith has two older brothers, Ben and Samuel, but she graciously declined to reveal who was behind the comment. Who needs friends when you have siblings?

Call me by my name

CBD’s fish-out-of-water prize might well go to billionaire Adrian Portelli, who made a name for himself shelling out $16.65 million over the past two years to buy four homes on reality TV show The Block (broadcast by this masthead’s owner, Nine).

And he was last seen in our column, paying a home visit to a man who allegedly broke into his $39 million penthouse to film his luxury supercar collection. You can read that backstory here.

Portelli was invited by Nine and G.H. Mumm on Derby Day, and by the time CBD caught up with him in the Furphy tent, he had loosened his tie as a result of mixing up Tom Ford and Hugo Boss and wearing a thick woollen houndstooth jacket.

The 35-year-old, who is worth more than $1 billion thanks to his online LMCT+ loyalty program, was most anxious to tell CBD readers that he was not the Lambo Guy – the nickname that made him famous in Melbourne thanks to his luxury supercar collection.

“It was Scott Cam on The Block who f---ing said that,” non-Lambo Guy told CBD.

“I just want to be Adrian Portelli.”

Proud to ask Qantas

Regular readers will recall Nationals leader David Littleproud was upfront about paying his own dime for airfares and accommodation for himself and wife Amelia. He also came up with a neat justification for politicians socialising at major events.

“While this is work, it’s also still a pleasure, but you shouldn’t turn your back on it because this is something where you show support to industry.”

The Littleprouds attended Derby Day at Melbourne’s Flemington racecourse at the weekend.

“I did fly Qantas,” Littleproud said.

But The Nationals leader does admit he has asked the national carrier for a favour – though only once.

“The only thing I’ve ever asked was about two years ago, I lost a constituent in my electorate who went over as a medic in the Ukraine war. He was killed. Qantas were the only company that stood up and brought his ashes home to my electorate.”

Jed Danahay, from Nanango in southern Queensland, was 27 when he was killed two years ago as a combat medic. Nanango is a small town in Littleproud’s electorate of Maranoa.

“But I think that speaks volumes about Qantas: [that] while we want to actually condemn them from time to time, when the chips are down, Australians need help, they were there,” Littleproud said.

Some readers, particularly those stuck overseas during the pandemic, might quibble with that last statement, but Littleproud’s sentiment was genuine.

“That’s the only favour I’ve ever asked of a government relations person. I’ve never asked for an upgrade,” Littleproud said boldly, leaving himself open to the risk that he might have just Bridget McKenzied himself.

Racing to impartiality

Much like the reigning monarch, House of Representatives Speaker Milton Dick does not do interviews. The need to maintain a regal-like vow of silence is wise when you play such a role at the heart of the national polity.

But CBD did spot the tall man upstairs in the Furphy marquee chatting with opposition spokesman on immigration and citizenship Dan Tehan.

Earlier, CBD had espied Dick at a TAB betting console on the wall where he was either marvelling at the advances in wagering technology … or dropping some cash on race 1.

We couldn’t find out which, due to the aforementioned interview ban.

OK, so what about tips then? No dice. “My impartiality remains even at the races,” came the response. And with that, he was off to work the room.

One for the stewards

One of Melbourne’s best-dressed legal practitioners, Thomson Geer lawyer Justin Quill, was spotted in The Birdcage going a teensy bit non-binary in the fashion stakes by trying on the fascinator of Melbourne PR queen Michelle Stamper.

Readers, he wore it well.

Racing is a numbers game, and Quill offered CBD a few facts of his own. “In the last 28 carnivals, and each of the four race days, I have only missed one day,” Quill proclaimed. “And I haven’t missed one in the past 22 years.

“Some people think it’s a bit sad, but my mates like it.”

Given Quill is on occasion CBD’s defamation lawyer, we fall firmly in the latter category.

Barred from entry

CBD’s Melbourne-based correspondent texted NSW Racing overlord Peter V’landys with a cheeky inquiry to find out if he was attending the races.

“Absolutely, if you are at Rosehill,” came the reply.

When we joked that our NSW visa had been revoked, V’landys, whose rivalry with the Victoria Racing Club particularly during the spring racing carnival is well known, replied: “Likewise for me with Victoria.”

Start the day with a summary of the day’s most important and interesting stories, analysis and insights. Sign up for our Morning Edition newsletter.