Want to give great advice to your loved ones? Try these three words

While I’ve really been enjoying all those social media snaps of you jammy bastards in Europe over winter – none of us have been to Italy before or seen captions like “La dolce vita” on “candid” laughing-while-walking down a lane photos, so cheers – somehow, who knows why, I’ve been avoiding looking at my feeds.

Things like cleaning out the third drawer down, having the dog’s anal glands checked and watching And Just Like That... without being stoned seemed preferable to bearing witness for the zillionth time to the exploits of ye holidaymakers.

But eventually curiosity slash masochism won. Did a quick scroll with one eye closed to block out boats or floral baskets at UK pubs. And found an absolute banger post.

Along with my previously mentioned passion for Dr Pimple Popper videos and posts from Bicheno Stories, I really like a Facebook account called Memory Lane – Growing Up in Australia.

Expect massive nostalgia: Blankety Blanks, questions about whether anyone had a Sandman, death-trap billy carts, that terrifying wooden gym vault from 1970s PE classes, the sharpie dance, people piercing ears with a needle and ice cube. Liquid Paper. Big Tooth chewy. A mention that this week in 1974, Good Morning (How Are You?) by the Moir Sisters charted. One terrific post had a giant costume cigarette mascot called Mr Cig visiting hospital patients to hand out free durries in 1948.

The post that caught my eye this time was a question: “You meet your 18-year-old self. But you’re only allowed to say three words. What do you say?”

The answers offered up obsessed me for about an hour.

I love you. Buy real estate. Enjoy the ride. Save your money. Cherish your parents. Don’t do it! Trust your instincts. Work in tech. Do not settle. Leave the country. Don’t people please. Don’t have regrets. Keep your Monaro. Get out more. Run baby, run. Work two jobs.

One clear theme also emerged. “Don’t get married” was everywhere. One woman called Jacqueline got more specific: “Don’t marry Lee.” Lee, thoughts mate?

When I put my phone down and burned off to a jazz funk beginners’ dance class at the local senior cits club, the three-word advice challenge was on my mind. And it stayed there for days.

I’d be wondering about pruning the crepe myrtle and another three-word suggestion would pop into my head like rogue confetti: exercise every day. Kindness does count.

Was checking out the steaks at the local IGA and came up with: go to therapy.

Listening to my mum’s neurosurgeon talk about her coming brain surgery, I went into a brief fugue state, thinking, keep long hair.

There was also: do not worry. Love finds you. Say yes more. Take fewer photos. Back up photos. Travel when young. Trust woo-woo hunches. Eat the cake. Keep close friends. Buy less stuff.

Gradually, I started to notice a pattern. What I really wanted my younger self to know were the fundamentals – the soul-sustaining stuff about looking after your body and nurturing the people who matter. Saying yes to scary things.

Yep. In three words: take more risks. Burn the rulebook.

Other phrases kept rolling in. Always leave first. Call your nans. Start saving early. Write things down. Children are everything. Get a dog. Never stop reading. Have good sheets. Moisturise your neck.

Even when the barrel was being dragged, the mental ticker wouldn’t turn off. Lie when necessary. Sunscreen before makeup. Move the couch. Laugh mid-argument. Say the thing.

Chris and I discussed it, perhaps with mixed results: Bowl outside off. Baby got back. Love your mum.

After days of this mental carousel, I landed on two gold medal phrases.

Trust the process. Because some things take time, and clarity only shows up once you’ve kept trundling on long enough.

And, keep moving forward. You can’t unlive the mistakes, unfeel the heartbreak or undo the choices that stuffed things up. But you can honour who you’ve become because of them.

That’s what I’d tell my younger self, in green eyeliner and borrowed confidence. Not a warning. Not a regret. Just a nudge: Keep moving forward. Almost everything you’re chasing? You get it.

Kate Halfpenny is founder of Bad Mother Media. Her new book, Boogie Wonderland, is out now. Subscribers can buy a copy from Booktopia for the discounted price of $24.26 plus postage with the code WONDERLAND10. This offer is available until August 31.

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