Magpies, cockroaches, ants: The fellow diners lining up for your lunch

Although I love my food with a passion, there are others who seem to love it even more. There I was, standing in the park, raising my ham-and-cheese sandwich to take a bite, when – swoop! – Maggie Magpie got in first, her wing brushing my cheek as she grabbed what she could in her beak and headed off with it.

And don’t get me started on seagulls. The waterfront eateries at the Sydney Opera House were losing so many potato chips to the gulls, they installed a roster of 12 trained dogs to ward off attacks (with double shifts on weekends). I’ve also seen kookaburras dive-bomb a family at a picnic table, determined to carry off their carrot and celery sticks.

Ants can also be an issue, simply in terms of numbers. I’ve learnt to keep an eye out for the brave little scouts who venture forth to find food, lug it back to their nest, then head back the next day, following their own scent trail. I can imagine them telling all their friends to head straight to Terry’s kitchen: he has this amazing bowl of brown sugar in the cupboard!

There are all manner of household creatures who take one look at what I’m eating and say, “I’ll have what he’s having.” It’s no fun opening a packet of flour, only to find the tiny little caterpillars and silken webbing of the dreaded pantry moth. Those living in colder climes might escape the pest otherwise known as the Indian meal moth (Plodia interpunctella), but a long, hot summer is an open invitation: “Hey, come over for a meal, you guys. I have cereal, flour – whatever you like.”

We don’t invite them, of course: they just turn up. Flies, mice, cockroaches, fruit flies. I’ve learnt to keep everything in sealed containers, to never leave food out overnight and to wash down chopping boards in the morning before use.

Looking at the wider picture, it’s all about survival, of course. Mine – and theirs. More birds will enter urban spaces in times of drought if they think there is a better chance of finding food, and cockroaches don’t eat all the stuff they eat just for fun. On the upside, I’m feeling much more positive about the idea of eating insects in the future. It seems only fair.

theemptyplate@goodweekend.com.au

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