‘It’s my lifestyle that makes dating difficult’: Lizzy Hoo on love as a comedian

Lizzy Hoo is a comedian, best known for her stand-up special Hoo Cares!? Here, the 40-year-old shares how her parents reacted to her comedy aspirations, the male mentor who inspired her and her first kiss.

My maternal grandfather, Jack, owned a grocery shop in Toowoomba, Queensland. He was entrepreneurial – the tag line on the store read: “Where the wise economise.” He was a charismatic man who lived with bipolar [disorder].

My Chinese-Malaysian paternal grandfather, Chee Bow, spoke five languages and worked as an interpreter for the Japanese during World War II. He had to translate the horrific news that someone would be killed. It really affected him. They didn’t know what PTSD was back then, but he definitely had it. He died when my dad was 16.

My dad, Chan, joined military college in Malaysia when he was 13. He was away from the family home a lot because of this, so didn’t bear the brunt of his dad’s violence. He was in the military until his early 20s.

Dad met my mum, Barbara, while she was backpacking in Malaysia in the 70s. She was hitchhiking when he gave her and her friend a lift to Penang. They fell in love and had my eldest brother, Simon, in Malaysia. After four years they relocated to Australia and had my brother Damian and me.

My dad is very gentle and the one who would plait my hair – not your typical Asian dad! He was the one who would write you a poem, sing you a song and cook you a meal.

His first job in Australia was working as a porter on Daydream Island [in the Whitsundays] in the late ’70s. He went up with Mum’s brother while Mum lived in a caravan park in Mackay with a three-year-old son. Dad won the talent show on the island and ended up becoming the entertainer.

Mum and Dad ended up moving back to Brisbane and Mum got a job as a teacher. Dad worked pumping petrol at a service station – winning an award for the most sales at the bowser – then got jobs selling car parts before opening his own business.

My brother Simon is 12 years older than me. I didn’t really grow up with him. He had a sweet life for nine years as an only child until his two siblings turned up and stole the show. He left home at a young age. We both live in Melbourne now and catch up a bit, which is nice.

Damian is three years older than me. We were very close growing up and did everything together. As a kid, I did exactly what he said. If we went to the Gold Coast, we’d host our own fake ironman events. He is a PE teacher and lives in Thailand now.

My first kiss was with a guy called Jules at a school dance when I was 13. He had braces, but I thought he was a spunk. We’re still friends and did some travel together after school.

A male mentor who inspired me was Map Magazine editor Carl Lindgren, who passed away from brain cancer in 2022. He opened my eyes to different ways of doing things. He had an attitude of “you can do anything if you put your mind to it”.

I was in my 30s when I told my parents I wanted to become a comedian. It was a mixed reaction. Dad was more supportive as he is a bit of a showman himself – he plays the guitar and, at 85, takes part in three open-mics a week. He understands the need to perform and the joy of performing.

I was in a relationship for seven years until the end of 2022. We broke up ultimately because we wanted different things. We both wanted children when we met, and then I changed my mind. I learnt that there are lots of ways to be in a relationship, and that you don’t have to get married and have children. He is someone I still care about.

I tried online dating when we broke up. I grew up with parents from different cultures and saw how different people can fall love – that you can date outside your circle. It’s my lifestyle that makes dating difficult. As a comedian, I’m always on the road. I am not Monday-to-Friday any more, and that makes it hard.

Lizzy Hoo features in Shaun Micallef’s Origin Odyssey on SBS on October 8.

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