I am in my mid-60s. When people suggest I retire, this is what I tell them

You could never accuse me of being shy and retiring. I tend to say what I’m thinking. So, when my accountant started talking to me about retiring I told him straight out that he was a few receipts short of an audit.

Why is the world so obsessed with numbers? Every interview I do, the writer references my age. “The author, 66, is riding a horse aged 18 past a tree aged 210.” Do they want to chop me down and count the rings? Do a few digits really dictate when I’m ready to be put out to career pasture?

I definitely don’t feel I’ve passed my amuse-by date. In fact, I’m having the most fun, the best ideas and best sex I’ve ever had. You don’t give up sex when you get old; you get old when you give up sex. A sexagenarian’s motto? Don’t put off until tomorrow anyone you could be doing today!

When I placed my 16-year-old foot on the first rung of the career ladder, retirees seemed sooo ancient. I didn’t know exactly how old they were because a camel clearly ate the part of the Dead Sea Scrolls where their births were recorded. So, the realisation that I’m suddenly old enough to claim a pension has shocked me to my core.

I just can’t see myself walking in my front door and calling out, “Hi darling. I’m home – forever.” And I don’t think I’m the only one who’s reluctant to hit the employment ejector seat.

Many of my friends are older than the characters in The Thursday Murder Club. But are they living in a posh retirement home like Cooper’s Chase? No. And not just because they couldn’t afford it but because they’re still working.

When I was an exhausted working mum, how I dreamed of being a Lady of Leisure. But now, the thought of relaxing makes me tense.

KATHY LETTE

Australia has been slowly raising the age at which we’re eligible for a state pension to 67 (in Denmark it’s now 70). And I can see why. Retire now and, on average, women are looking at nearly 20 years on the pension, men almost 15. So the question is: are we giving up work too early?

When I was an exhausted working mum, how I dreamed of being a Lady of Leisure. But now, the thought of relaxing makes me tense. My very happily retired big sister got me to download some relaxation apps recently. I lay on the bed, closed my eyes and concentrated on the sound of waves breaking on the beach, but immediately panicked about being trapped by the tide. She then got me to try a podcast on thinking positively about retirement, but it only made me more negative.

If I gave up my job, what would I do all day? Sit at home knitting my own bus pass? My brain would log me out due to inactivity and I wouldn’t be able to remember my password.

Then again, nobody on their deathbed ever said, “Gosh, I wish I’d spent more time filling in forms and filing paperwork.” There are no luggage racks on hearses, no pockets in shrouds. And, once you hit 60, time starts fugit-ing like there’s no tomorrow. Retirement is when you stop living at work … and start working at living.

Yet medics maintain that the only proven paths to longevity are the dull ones: eat sensibly, exercise more, drink less… I actually doubt that giving up wining and dining increases your longevity, it just feels that way. I want to behave, I really do, but there are just too many other options. Hitting your 60s is nature’s way of telling a woman to drink more champers and do more horizontal tango.

So, perhaps my mid-60s really is the moment to strive for some work/life balance? My current plan is to work and play with more passion than ever. Everyone’s obsessed with the length of life, but I want to live its width and depth as well. I want a life in 3D. I want to die young, as late as possible.

Retirement doesn’t mean you’re at the end of something; you’re just at the beginning of something else. It’s not goodbye, but hello to a new adventure.

Adventure before dementia, that’s our motto. Not that I’m making light of that terrible affliction, but you never know what’s around the corner. So, I’ve told my accountant that I’ll see him after work … on the dance floor.

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