Heteroflexible, fertility vampires and affair baiting: The terms defining dating now

There are countless new terms each year – invented by singles, loved-up and heartbroken individuals alike – to describe what we experience in the pursuit of love. But we’ve now ventured far beyond the realm of situationships, ghosting and rizz.

“Bait” no longer refers to what you use to catch fish, “orbiting” isn’t just something a planet does, and a “fertility vampire” won’t suck your blood. Even words like “dating” don’t mean what we think they do any more.

Being single in 2026 can feel like studying a language that has a different translation each week, like the Temu version of learning Bad Bunny lyrics – no fun, and with none of the bonus eye-candy.

So, why do we do this to ourselves? Though difficult to keep up with, these terms allow us to articulate our feelings, says Dr Raquel Peel, a psychologist from CQUniversity Australia who’s been researching relationships for more than 10 years.

“It’s people trying to make meaning of what’s happening for them, but they’re also asking for validation: is what I’m feeling what others are feeling too?” she says.

Peel says the actual labels are irrelevant. The point is connecting with those who have similar experiences: “Psychologically, it’s about fear, it’s about protection, it’s about not being vulnerable, not being exposed.”

In other words, it helps to know you’re not the only one going through it.

Heteroflexible

As the name suggests, a heteroflexible person is heterosexual but flexible about it. If presented with the opportunity to have intercourse with a person of the same gender, they might give it a go.

You could think of it as the modern-day equivalent of Samantha Jones on Sex and the City, calling herself a “trysexual” because she’d “try anything once”. According to dating app Feeld, it was the fastest growing sexuality in 2025, and a spokesperson confirmed to this masthead that there was a 10.5 per cent increase in Australians identifying as heteroflexible on the app last year.

Appstinence

It’s no secret that daters are fed up with the apps. Shares in Match Group – the company that owns Tinder and Hinge – have fallen by more than two-thirds since 2020, and shares in Bumble are down nearly 95 per cent. They might have “appstinence” to thank for the downturn.

Singles love to talk about how they’ve deleted (and re-downloaded) a dating app at least once (though probably more). Now some are taking that a step further by swearing off apps altogether, with a vow of appstinence, where they abstain from the platforms.

Affair baiting

You might have encountered this one recently thanks to Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi. While on their Wuthering Heights press tour, the Australian actors have been accused of “affair baiting”, which refers to making people believe you’re having an affair when you’re not.

Those who believe Robbie and Elordi are guilty point to their over-the-top proclamations of closeness: Robbie saying she became “codependent”, and Elordi claiming he was always within five metres of his co-star during filming.

Swag-gap

Exhibit A: Hailey Bieber looking glamorous in heels, a red mini dress and full face beat, with her husband trailing her in a casual grey tracksuit, as though he had rolled out of bed not 10 minutes earlier. Exhibit B: Your friend who always makes excuses for their partner, insisting “they’re actually really cool once you get to know them”.

Previously thought of as your run-of-the-mill “opposites attract” pairing, these are examples of “swag-gap” couples, a relationship between an individual who has swag (style, charm, an inarticulable je ne sais quoi) and someone who suffers from swaglessness (see also: loser).

The next time you’re dating someone who doesn’t seem to put in the same effort as you, and you’re sad about the potential end of the relationship, cheer up: maybe you simply have too much swag.

Orbiting

Once upon a time, you’d date someone, break up and never have to encounter them again unless by chance. No longer.

Today, breakups prompt an important decision: do you sever ties digitally, blocking them on all social platforms? If not, you could have to deal with them orbiting you. They’ll watch your Instagram stories, occasionally like a photo you post and, generally, never let you forget they exist, like some twisted planet of torment.

Fertility vampires

These people, usually men, date women during their prime childbearing years and promise them a future brood of kids, then dump them, leaving the woman with little time to have children.

In so doing, these “vampires” steal the women’s most “fertile years”. Much less sexy than the Salvatore brothers, indeed.

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