Before we married, my wife joined my band. Then, one day, Courtney Love called

Musician Paul Dempsey, 49, is best known for being the frontman of Something For Kate. Here, he shares his memories of losing his dad when he was a baby, how his older sisters helped raise him, and how his wife, fellow band-member Stephanie Ashworth, nearly joined Courtney Love’s band, Hole.

My maternal grandmother, Doris, was a huge part of my life. I spent a lot of time with her when Mum was working as a musician. My grandparents lived in a tiny flat two blocks away, and when my grandfather passed, Doris came to live with us. We’d sit and watch TV; my love of tennis is due to her. She died in 2000.

Mum [Gillian] and Dad [Charlie] came to Australia from Dublin in 1970. They didn’t click with the new location, and ended up going back to Dublin, only to return five years later. Dad convinced Mum to give it another try and got her entire family to come to Australia as well.

Dad died in 1978 when I was two. Being in a new country with four children and suddenly without a life partner was difficult for Mum. Dad was a big personality and the centre of everything in her world.

Mum remarried a few years after Dad died. She did it more for convenience and to provide some security for us kids. They were married until I was 10, and she remarried again after that.

I have three older sisters – Jill, Moira and Louise; they are 12, nine and six years older than me, respectively. They are very supportive and loving. We became closer as we got older. Mum is the matriarch, but Jill comes a close second.

Moira is a singer who has been living in France for the past 25 years. Our family weekends were spent going to opera eisteddfods. My sister Louise was also in bands, and did a lot of Irish dancing. They were both obsessed with Hunters & Collectors and got me into their music.

My first kiss happened at 13. I was young and a girl grabbed me and planted one on me at a party. I remember feeling like I didn’t know what had just happened.

I had my first girlfriend at high school when I was 16. It lasted quite a while for young love, but I was more interested in music than relationships.

I met my wife, bassist Stephanie Ashworth, when I was 19 at the Central Club Hotel in Richmond [Melbourne]; her band Sandpit and mine were sharing a line-up. We got talking about music immediately.

Some time later, our bass player left to get married and didn’t want to tour anymore. I called Stephanie and asked if she wanted to join. I must have been really nervous because she remembers it being a hilarious phone call where I was very proper. We met again on tour and realised we had a connection.

We became a couple when I was 21. She joined Something for Kate in 1998. We know how a band operates, how to separate from that and how to be a couple and – nowadays – parents together. I feel lucky to do all of this with the person I love in life. We married in 2006 in Las Vegas.

In 2000, Stephanie was asked to join Courtney Love’s band, Hole. We were in the US touring Beautiful Sharks. We had played a show in LA and Courtney was there with her guitarist, Eric Erlandson. We talked about it, but she decided it wasn’t for her.

Stephanie and I moved to the US in 2010. We stayed nearly two years. During that time, we had our first child, our son, Miller. We almost came back to Australia then because of that, but decided to stay a bit longer. Our second child, daughter Lake, is 10.

Lake reminds me of myself when I was a kid. I wouldn’t let anyone in my family hear me sing; she’s the same. Her brother is dominating the guitar while she’s more about taking her time with things, and is mad for music.

Paul Dempsey is performing at the Sydney Opera House on November 7 and Melbourne’s Palais Theatre, November 22.