Alex Perry on building a successful marriage: ‘Our differences make it work’

Fashion designer Alex Perry is best known for his red carpet gowns. The 59-year-old discusses his upbringing, career, marriage, and the women who have influenced him along the way.

My maternal grandmother, Vasiliki, loved to watch Bette Davis movies. She was always beautifully dressed and had fashion coats and dresses custom-made. She always talked about Greece and would tell tall stories about how she swam from her tiny island to Turkey.

I’ll never forget seeing my dad’s best friend’s wife, Jenny, turn up to our Sydney suburban backyard looking like Raquel Welch. She used to wear pencil skirts, black suede stilettos and angora jumpers; her hair was always done. It was the first time I recall noticing fashion. I was seven.

My mum, Poppy, was born in Australia of Greek heritage and passed away last year. She was pragmatic and honest; I get my work ethic from my parents. She wasn’t the type of mother to blow sunshine up you. If she saw me sketching something she didn’t like, she would tell me. She was my best critic.

Mum had a good sense of humour and loved watching classic films and losing herself in their beauty; she would admire how perfect the clothes were. She taught herself how to type in her late ’60s, got a job as a receptionist, then worked her way up to become a PA to the general manager of Deloitte.

“My teacher, Sally, gave me the best advice when it came to designing garments: never settle for second best. Don’t shelve an idea because it is difficult or the fabric is hard or people are telling you it’s not possible.”

In 1984, I went to East Sydney Fashion Tech to study fashion. I was completely surrounded by women – there were lots of fashionable girls. I was a wog from Maroubra; I looked like the odd one out.

My teacher, Sally, gave me the best advice when it came to designing garments: never settle for second best. Don’t shelve an idea because it is difficult or the fabric is hard or people are telling you it’s not possible.

My first kiss was at a nightclub with a girl at the college. She was very amorous and I had never kissed anybody before. I was shocked at the thrashing nature of it. I hadn’t seen anybody French kiss until I was in the thick of it myself.

I met my wife, Mary, at a wedding. All the women there could have been extras in a Madonna video clip: teased up hair, fingerless lace gloves, tulle skirts and lots of make-up. Mary was living in Greece at the time and had come back to Australia for her brother’s wedding. She worked for a fashion designer in Athens and was wearing a silver-grey strapless evening dress and silver shoes, and had a blow-dried shoulder-length bob. I was mesmerised by her.

I plucked up the courage to ask her out. I never thought she would say yes, but she agreed. She returned to Greece, but came back to Sydney and we started dating soon after that.

I was 24 when I got married. Mary and I don’t have children, but at the time we weren’t in a financial position to go down that road. We also didn’t follow any preconceived rules or guidelines about what happens after you marry. If we’d needed to do it, we would have, but we didn’t.

The differences between Mary and me are what make our relationship work. She is methodical and likes to plan, I make decisions in an instant and go with my gut. I can’t spring stuff on her. I did that when I quit Chadwick’s as a model agent, signed a shop lease and made other decisions without cross-checking with her. In retrospect I don’t know how she didn’t kick me out.

In the first 10 years

of my fashion brand, Mary worked as a medical receptionist to financially support me. If she wasn’t the rock, my business wouldn’t have got off the ground.

I met Elle Macpherson when I made her a dress for a Vogue Australia shoot. She came into my shop in Double Bay and I was like a tongue-tied seven-year-old. I don’t know if she knew how nervous I was.

Alex Perry is celebrating 10 years as a Specsavers designer.

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