Katy Perry, Justin Trudeau and the grainy photos that have tabloids frothing

Any new relationship needs time to find its feet, preferably without too much scrutiny from prying eyes. Fat chance, though, if you’re one of the world’s most famous pop stars and one of its more high-profile (ex-)politicians.

In that case, eyes win over feet, hands down, every time.

Speculation that Katy Perry and former Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau are lovers has gone into overdrive following the emergence of blurry photographs that may or may not show them canoodling aboard a yacht.

They follow the earlier publication of images that possibly show Perry and a man, presumed to be Trudeau, sharing a meal in Montreal. And yet more shots that seem to show Trudeau and a woman, presumed to be Perry, walking a dog in the same city.

To date, there is not a single photo of the purported couple in which both their faces are clearly visible at the same time, which means they might be a couple and they might not (leaving aside for a moment the question of what business that is of anyone’s anyway).

But if the dots are there to be joined, it’s only fair that the tabloid media do that joining. Right?

What are these yacht shots anyway?

Allegedly taken by tourists who didn’t actually realise who the couple were (until, that is, they received a great big fat pay cheque from the paparazzi agency that then on-sold them for a fortune to media outlets around the world), the images were supposedly taken in late September off the Californian coast, as Perry took some time between legs of her Lifetimes tour to grab a little R and R aboard her yacht, the Caravelle.

Whether they really are the work of amateurs or of professional paparazzi, the photos were clearly taken either from a long way away or with a pretty rubbish lens, because they are blurry, grainy and lacking in detail.

It’s hard to tell if that really is Perry, but it’s her yacht (apparently) so let’s allow that one through to the keeper. The bloke? Well, he could be a jellyfish for all we can tell.

So why are they saying it’s Trudeau?

The giveaway, according to feverish tabloid reporting, is the distinctive tattoo on the man’s arm.

“I didn’t realise who [Perry] was with,” a source told The Daily Mail, “until I saw the tattoo on the guy’s arm and I immediately realised it was Justin Trudeau.”

The tatt in question is a Haida raven, with which Trudeau was inked for his 40th birthday. The Haida are an indigenous people in Canada, and the symbol carries special significance for Trudeau: his father Pierre (also a former Canadian PM) was named an honorary member of the Haida tribe, and his younger brother, Michel, who died in an avalanche while skiing in British Columbia, sported a similar tattoo.

In the yacht photos, a blotch is visible on the upper arm of the man. However, it would take an act of considerable will to describe it with certainty as a raven, or indeed anything but a blotch. Likewise, the woman is not obviously Katy Perry, though she does have legs, arms and hair, as the singer does.

How likely is it to be true?

Look, we’d be delighted if it turned out that the couple on the boat were actually a deckhand and a random guest. But there’s a good chance it really is Perry and Trudeau.

Why? Because famous people tend to date famous people, mostly because non-famous people find the scrutiny that comes with dating a famous person intolerable. Not to mention the scheduling issues. I mean, have you seen Perry’s Lifetimes tour dates? I don’t know how the woman finds time to pee, let alone to pash.

Scheduling issues were cited by “sources” as a factor in the breakdown of Perry’s 10-year relationship with Orlando Bloom in June. And scheduling will be a factor in any burgeoning new relationship, which means she probably needs someone with a lot of time on his hands and the means to fly and join her wherever she happens to be in the rare moments of downtime. Someone like … well, a former Canadian PM, for example.

(Trudeau and wife Sophie Gregoire Trudeau separated in 2023 after 18 years of marriage and three children.)

TMZ is usually pretty reliable on this stuff, and has been tracking sightings of the purported couple since July, when they were allegedly seen walking a dog and later sharing dinner in Montreal. A couple of days later, he was photographed in the audience at her show in the same city.

None of this rises above what a defence barrister would dismiss as merely circumstantial, Your Honour.

Nor does the quip she made on Monday during a concert in London, when she said of the audience, “No wonder I fall for Englishmen all the time … but not anymore.” But that was enough for The Sun to claim “Katy Perry breaks silence on Justin Trudeau romance”.

Does any of this even matter?

Not a bit. Both are single and are free to date whomever they choose. Trudeau holds no office, so there’s no chance of any accusations of conflict or compromise (and there probably wouldn’t be even if he did hold office). They can swipe right, choose ENM, FWB, BDSM or any other combination of letters they want, and it’s ANOOB (absolutely none of our business).

But that won’t stop people speculating and clicking and trading opinions about whether it’s a great match, a lousy one, or one that should see them both stuffed into the next available Bezos rocket and blasted into space, where they can canoodle all they want, a long way from the prying eyes of paparazzi lenses.

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