Grammys 2023 as it happened: Beyonce becomes most awarded artist in history

And so, like an 8-minute DJ Khaled performance (weird way to end this thing, but okay), I’m tired.

You come in with such optimism to these things, hoping that for once the Grammys will do the right thing, award through merit and accurately represent the cultural zeitgeist, and then you hear the words “album of the year” and “Harry Styles” in the same sentence. I know some of you love Harry, so I’ll stop. But really, I won’t ever stop.

Thank you for joining us on this live blog for a typically ridiculous Grammys. I’m off to find a portal to a parallel universe where these awards actually make sense.

Well, there it is. A bag-grab of winners for the year’s top prizes, when everything was pointing to a Beyonce sweep. Sure, she broke the all-time winning record, but again got shut out of the main awards. In 2017, it was Adele who got in the way, and today it was Harry Styles.

I mean, Styles seems nice and his closing speech putting a dent into the idea of competition between artists seemed sincere, but I have ears and a brain and there’s no way Harry’s House deserves the title of album of the year over Renaissance. But like I said, this is the joy of the Grammys - they’re never not ridiculous.

Let the arguments begin.

You shouldn’t believe it, but this is the Grammys so, I mean, what can you do but laugh. In a monumental upset, Harry Styles has beat out Beyonce for the ultimate prize.

“Shit. Well, shit,” he says.

“I think on a night like tonight, it’s important to remember there’s no such thing as a best,” he adds.

I’m waiting for the apology to Beyonce, but it’s not coming. The Grammys screw her again, on what was her record-breaking night.

Coldplay’s Chris Martin, looking like he just finished doing some busking outside, announces the winner for record of the year - and it’s another upset. It goes to Lizzo for About Damn Time.

I mean, I don’t think anyone’s complaining, but I don’t think even Lizzo’s grandparents would’ve picked it.

“This is so unexpected,” she says, before dedicating the award to Prince and the power of positive music. “Stay true to yourself because I promise you will attract people who will believe in you and support you.”

She also told Beyonce “you changed my life”, and shared a story about skipping class to see the singer perform live.

“You clearly are the artist of our lives.”

I don’t know why we even pretend to understand the Grammys.

It’s taken a while, including countless shots of Ben Affleck looking like JLo dragged him to her nephew’s christening, but we’re finally at the important awards.

America’s First Lady Jill Biden is tasked with announcing the winner of the song of the year, and it goes to Bonnie Raitt for Just Like That. Even Bonnie Raitt doesn’t understand what’s happening.

“I’m so surprised, I don’t know what to say,” the 73-year-old says. It’s a song about organ donation, she explains, which was inspired by her late friend John Prine.

The blues and country great has a history of political activism, dating back to anti-Vietnam and anti-nuclear anthems when she started back in the ’70s.

“I don’t write a lot of songs, but I’m so pleased you appreciate this one,” she adds.

While we wait for the last couple of awards to be announced, here’s a stunning photo of Harry Styles on stage belting out his nominated track As It Was.

The silver, tinsel-y number is much more fun than the rainbow jumpsuit, according to our in-house Grammys brains trust.

The Rock is here talking about his favourite songs and his own horrible vocal chops, and includes a sly nod to all the Moana stans out there [puts hand up]. He’s introducing the Grammy for best vocal pop solo performance and it goes to Adele.

She thanks her son Angelo, her partner Rich Paul (aka Lebron’s agent), and then gets bleeped out heavily because she’s Adele.